Diaper Drama, Bread Battles and Senior Menu Scams

Lisa [00:00:08]:
So I know what you're going to say. You're going to say, this is just Lisa in a nutshell, but it's not. This is something entirely different. Samantha, I'm shaking my head at the fact that not everything needs to come in a wrap. Not everything has to be a wrap. For years and years, we lived without wraps, and life seemed perfectly fine.

Samantha [00:00:25]:
Is this just you protecting bread?

Lisa [00:00:28]:
I'm protecting bread. I am the protector of bread. Absolutely. I'm protecting bread.

Samantha [00:00:32]:
Like, no offense, but here we go again with your obsession about things never changing. And you have a weird obsession about bread. I mean, you do go to the co op and touch it inappropriately.

Lisa [00:00:44]:
I'm a bread toucher. But like your grubby. Not really. Not really inappropriately. It's just more of a little light massage.

Samantha [00:00:53]:
It's a light touch.

Lisa [00:00:55]:
It's just a light paw here and there.

Samantha [00:00:58]:
Oh, my God. I just don't know if you're trying to be a grandma at the age of 55 or you're just a grumpy Gus all the time now. I just can't. I can't. I can't with you.

Lisa [00:01:06]:
I don't know. What I'm saying is. I'm just saying, today I decided, right? I saw a sign, and it said, everything can be a wrap. Okay, Lisa, let's step out of your little box that the world thinks you're in, and let's make everything a wrap. What type of sandwich am I going to have today? Going to have an egg salad sandwich. I wanted an egg salad sandwich, and I got it on a wrap. Their egg salad has no business being on a wrap. What's it doing on a wrap?

Samantha [00:01:29]:
You put it on the wrap. It's your problem now.

Lisa [00:01:33]:
The sign said anything can go on the wrap.

Samantha [00:01:35]:
Well, then you created your own problem.

Lisa [00:01:38]:
Don't say it can go on a wrap if it can't. Exile doesn't belong on a wrap.

Samantha [00:01:41]:
You said it can't go on a wrap.

Lisa [00:01:43]:
I say it can't. The sign said it can.

Samantha [00:01:46]:
Well, and then you did. So are you contradicting yourself? I'm confused. Is anyone else confused? Friends of the podcast, are we confused already? Two minutes in.

Lisa [00:01:55]:
No, already.

Samantha [00:01:57]:
Because this is. This is not. This is not bold. Well, for the rest of the podcast.

Lisa [00:02:01]:
Listen, I did it. I followed the sign. Anything could be a wrap. I egg salad wrap. I said I'll take a wrap and I'll have it with egg salad. Then all of a sudden, you have lettuce because you got to fill the Wrap. Right. So you have lettuce, you have tomatoes, you have cucumbers in there.

Lisa [00:02:15]:
You need to describe the whole thing. Yeah, it's just this huge, big.

Samantha [00:02:20]:
You made it. You created the mess. You live with it. Why are. This is. This is. This is. This is you.

Samantha [00:02:28]:
This is Lisa creating a problem when there's no problem because wraps aren't taking over bread. Just calm down. The bread police are nowhere near. It's not. It's not happening. Wraps can still exist and bread can still exist in the world.

Lisa [00:02:43]:
No, they don't need to. That's what I'm saying. Right.

Samantha [00:02:46]:
But they.

Lisa [00:02:46]:
Not everything needs on a rap. Get rid of that sign. That's a. That. That's an out note. Lie.

Samantha [00:02:51]:
Lisa, sometimes this just isn't up to you.

Lisa [00:02:54]:
You know what, Samantha? I knew you weren't going to see it my way. Whatever. But you know what? That's fine. I just want to say hello, friends of the podcast.

Samantha [00:03:03]:
Hello, everybody.

Lisa [00:03:05]:
You're gonna see it my way. Team Lisa. She's a rest. Yes, they are.

Samantha [00:03:10]:
No, they're not.

Lisa [00:03:11]:
This doesn't need to be a wrap.

Samantha [00:03:12]:
Oh, God. Just wait until we get to the rest of the podcast. This is gonna be fun, right?

Lisa [00:03:17]:
Guess what, everybody? It's always on my mind. The US Election's always on my mind.

Samantha [00:03:26]:
We are in round two. Ding.

Lisa [00:03:30]:
Allow me why we are paying so much attention to this?

Samantha [00:03:36]:
Are you kidding? It's season two of my reality TV show.

Lisa [00:03:39]:
I know, right?

Samantha [00:03:41]:
We got new characters, there's new shit happening.

Lisa [00:03:44]:
There's twists. There turns. Right? Just when we thought America was. We were at the finale. We're not. Ding, ding, ding. It's continuing.

Samantha [00:03:52]:
Is this not as the world turns or what?

Lisa [00:03:54]:
Or as my stomach turns? I think.

Samantha [00:03:58]:
Oh, my God. And you know what I'm excited to talk about? The fact that we used our advancing age to our benefit, finally.

Lisa [00:04:06]:
Oh, you know what? I've been thinking about that. Right? I got. I got some things on that. I got some thoughts on that. Okay. But you know what else I want to talk about? I saw a commercial the other day for men's bladder control underwear, and I need to dive into this because you know what? It caught my attention, and it wasn't in a good way.

Samantha [00:04:25]:
No, no, no.

Lisa [00:04:27]:
Not in a good way. Right?

Samantha [00:04:28]:
No, not in a good way. Not in a good way.

Lisa [00:04:30]:
Not in a good way. Okay. But. Okay, speaking of things. Not in a good way. I get. I listen. I.

Samantha [00:04:38]:
She's for climbed. Oh, my God.

Lisa [00:04:40]:
I'm for climbed. I'm baffled. I'm. I'm. I'm all of it. Right.

Samantha [00:04:43]:
Are you stupefied? That's a good word. Stupid.

Lisa [00:04:46]:
I'm not going to use that word because I feel that that word is supposed to mean I'm being stupid. And no, I'm not ever. Okay, Right. So good try, good try.

Samantha [00:04:54]:
No, that's not how I meant it, but sure.

Lisa [00:04:57]:
I don't believe you. All right. I don't believe you. I don't believe you. Okay, here's my thing, right? I get that I do too much Instagram and I love the TikTok too much. Yeah. But I tell you, if I keep seeing this whole. Your body, my choice.

Lisa [00:05:10]:
Your body, my choice. Bunch of men. Pardon my language, but I felt it was needed. Bunch of men taking what this guy Nick Buentes has said. Oh, yeah. And just saying it like, hey, ladies, your body, my choice. What is this?

Samantha [00:05:25]:
Apparently people found him. Some women found him and went to his house and he pepper sprayed one of them or bear sprayed one of the ladies. And I'm like, whoa, dude. And apparently he lives at his mom's house in the basement.

Lisa [00:05:38]:
Right?

Samantha [00:05:38]:
So that says a lot about Nick Fuentes.

Lisa [00:05:40]:
Hi, tough guy.

Samantha [00:05:42]:
I'm like, he. Apparently after that whole thing, he doubled down and went back to say that it's time for men to control everything about a woman. Their haircut, what they wear. And he listed, like, a whole multitude of crazy.

Lisa [00:06:00]:
And it's like, I'm amazed he's still walking.

Samantha [00:06:02]:
I'm surprised that they haven't stormed his mother's house.

Lisa [00:06:06]:
Right. That nobody's birth mom's house.

Samantha [00:06:07]:
Nobody. Nobody needs to do that. Like, let's not.

Lisa [00:06:10]:
We're not. We're not saying somebody should do it.

Samantha [00:06:13]:
Let's not let one little man decide how women need to react to this whole situation.

Lisa [00:06:19]:
But it's bigger than that because he's got lots of little men all over the TikTok saying the same thing.

Samantha [00:06:25]:
Oh, my God.

Lisa [00:06:25]:
It's like trending on TikTok, right?

Samantha [00:06:27]:
It is. Yep, it is.

Lisa [00:06:28]:
And you know me, I look. I look for a good trend. Right. I like to do a little stitch every now and then if I can jump in and. Yeah, not to that one.

Samantha [00:06:37]:
No. And it keeps coming up and I'm like, oh, my God. And it has a lot of legs. And yeah, young men, they're all over it. And apparently in. In schools, in the schoolyards, in the schoolyards, the boys are taunting the girls with that. Your body, my choice.

Lisa [00:06:55]:
That. And let's just. And let's just clarify, right? These boys in the schoolyard would have no real knowledge of any of this type of thing.

Samantha [00:07:03]:
No. Well, they wouldn't vote. They wouldn't be voting.

Lisa [00:07:06]:
Right. They're not voting. Right.

Samantha [00:07:07]:
Where are they getting their information from?

Lisa [00:07:09]:
Where are they getting that from? And, and, and why is this so in our face right now?

Samantha [00:07:14]:
I know. And this is just the first. This is the first episode of my. Of my long running reality TV show called.

Lisa [00:07:23]:
This is episode one.

Samantha [00:07:25]:
This is episode one of season 12.

Lisa [00:07:27]:
Your body, my body, my choice.

Samantha [00:07:30]:
I'm like, I'm not laughing at the women because I think this guy is just. He's not adding, he's detracting, he's not making this any better, but he's taking the focus off. Off of what's happening with people who are getting now appointed into the new government.

Lisa [00:07:46]:
Right. He.

Samantha [00:07:46]:
We need to ignore him and pay attention to what's happening either in your state or at a federal level, because that's what's important. Those are the people that have real, the real chance of changing what the hell is happening in your country. Because I need to focus.

Lisa [00:08:04]:
I gotta be honest, Samantha. I still got some Trump angst bubbling. Right? The entire concept. And I keep hearing this, too. Peaceful transfer of power. Peaceful transfer of power. His. His.

Lisa [00:08:17]:
His group is looking forward to a peaceful transfer of power. Well, you know what? Four years ago, I think Joe Biden was probably looking forward to that too. And you didn't give us that. You didn't give them that. Dumb.

Samantha [00:08:26]:
It didn't seem very peaceful.

Lisa [00:08:27]:
It was not peaceful. Right. And then you had an insurrection. Yes, right. You tried to overthrow the government, you threatened your vice president, and poof, none of it seems to matter.

Samantha [00:08:38]:
It's funny how people's memories all of a sudden get sucked out of their brains and they forget what happened. Four years ago.

Lisa [00:08:47]:
He's going to sign a law that says he is squeaky clean. Love, Donald. Dear Donald, you're squeaky clean. Love, Donald. He's gonna be the next Stuart Smalley. Dear Donald, I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggone it, apparently America likes me. Right? That's where we're headed with this guy. Right?

Samantha [00:09:08]:
Oh, my God.

Lisa [00:09:09]:
Oh. Apparently I raped women. Stein time. No, I didn't.

Samantha [00:09:12]:
Oh, God.

Lisa [00:09:13]:
Oh, dear Donald. I want to read that book. Dear Donald, that's. That's episode two. Dear Donald.

Samantha [00:09:19]:
Yeah. Like it's, it's. I, It's a total. I shake my head at how someone who has. Has been convicted as A felon or has a criminal background can be the president and get like, how does that happen?

Lisa [00:09:37]:
If I'm Kamala Harris, you know what I'm doing in the next four years? I'm getting all my law degrees back up to speed, getting all my certifications, and when he's done, I'm opening the case back up. I'm not done. I'm. We're not done with this, Donald. Right. Like, you figure, like, somebody can't even apply for a job if they have a criminal record, but yet you can be the President of the United States.

Samantha [00:10:02]:
There's so many limitations for someone who's actually gone to jail and, and, and trying to get their life potentially put back together, and he just gets to be president.

Lisa [00:10:11]:
Yeah. And don't get me started with. And don't get me started with Joe Rogan.

Samantha [00:10:15]:
Oh, don't.

Lisa [00:10:17]:
No.

Samantha [00:10:17]:
Because he's dipping into Canadian politics. I'm like, you need to stop that now. People listen to you, and that's scary.

Lisa [00:10:24]:
Take your big toe out of the Canadian water, Joe. Mind your business.

Samantha [00:10:29]:
I can only imagine the hornet's nest that will be stirred with that.

Lisa [00:10:33]:
I'm sure it's payback of some sort. Right. Because we dabbled.

Samantha [00:10:37]:
Of course you would dabble. We would be a little bit naive to think that people aren't going to dip into our politics as soon as an election isn't announced.

Lisa [00:10:47]:
Definitely. But here's the thing.

Samantha [00:10:48]:
Or start now.

Lisa [00:10:49]:
Here's the thing, Joe Rogan, that you probably don't quite understand, right. Is American politics all chock full of fun and, And. And like the Dallas and Dynasty era, right? Like all. Just. Everybody's sleeping with everybody and killing people, and nobody cares. Canada. We're just not that exciting.

Samantha [00:11:06]:
We're really not that excited.

Lisa [00:11:07]:
Right. We really are. About a maple dip donut and some poutine.

Samantha [00:11:11]:
Well, and then we do have, you know, occasionally we have a portion of the percentage of the Canadian population that will drive their trucks to Ottawa and live in the middle of the city center. Honk horns.

Lisa [00:11:24]:
They try. Right? They put their.

Samantha [00:11:26]:
And that's. And that's. And to. They're allowed to do that.

Lisa [00:11:29]:
And we're interested in that for, like, the first six hours of news. And then we just. We just move on to something different.

Samantha [00:11:35]:
And then we just feel bad for the people who have to work and live down.

Lisa [00:11:38]:
Right? So nobody cares. That's how Canadians work. Right. We don't. We don't. We don't rally behind your cause. We stopped caring about your cause. Six hours ago.

Lisa [00:11:48]:
We've moved on.

Samantha [00:11:50]:
I'm not sure what we do. It's really. We are a bit odd that way, aren't we?

Lisa [00:11:55]:
It is really how we roll in Canada.

Samantha [00:11:58]:
It is, it is, it is. We are a bit of a conundrum.

Lisa [00:12:01]:
We're like, you know what? We would love to invest more time in this huge freedom fighters, but guess what? Sorry, can't.

Samantha [00:12:07]:
I gotta go get a coffee and a donut.

Lisa [00:12:08]:
Get a coffee and a Tim Tim bits. Right. I'm just. I'm good. I'm gonna go skate on the pond or something. Right. Like, I'm not saying we're simple folk, but we're simple folk.

Samantha [00:12:21]:
I mean, when in our. Okay, I'm gonna bring it up again. Because even in our province, we just had a provincial election when only 52% of the people showed up to vote.

Lisa [00:12:29]:
Nobody cared. Nobody cared.

Samantha [00:12:31]:
Nobody cared.

Lisa [00:12:32]:
Nobod.

Samantha [00:12:34]:
Good grief. Like, if we can't get people in our own province to go vote, how are we going to get them to vote federally?

Lisa [00:12:40]:
Exactly. Right.

Samantha [00:12:42]:
Because we don't go door to door. Like, we don't. We are not crazy campaigning people in this whole.

Lisa [00:12:47]:
We don't do it. We don't do it for a year. We do it for like six weeks.

Samantha [00:12:50]:
We did it. We did. Yeah. It's like, short.

Lisa [00:12:52]:
If you don't catch our attention in that time, we're done. I don't even care that there's early voting. Whatever.

Samantha [00:12:58]:
I had a lady come to my door and I was like, I need you to stop right there.

Lisa [00:13:02]:
Stop.

Samantha [00:13:03]:
I don't. I don't want what you're selling.

Lisa [00:13:05]:
I don't want.

Samantha [00:13:05]:
She just looked at me and I'm like, sorry, have a lovely day. I don't want to hear it because I'm not interested. I can't.

Lisa [00:13:12]:
Right?

Samantha [00:13:13]:
I don't want to.

Lisa [00:13:14]:
I just pick. I pick. I don't want you. I don't want you. I don't want you. I don't want you. Oh, yes, I'm getting you.

Samantha [00:13:20]:
Click. That's how I do it. I have to set. I have to set, like, a reminder on my phone to go vote for the mayor because I keep forgetting.

Lisa [00:13:30]:
And that's tomorrow.

Samantha [00:13:31]:
And that's tomorrow. Right?

Lisa [00:13:33]:
So we already voted.

Samantha [00:13:35]:
It will already be done. So you better hope, guys, that I.

Lisa [00:13:37]:
Have got to vote and I'm the bad voter because what do I do? What's the first thing I say? Who'd you vote for?

Samantha [00:13:42]:
Yeah, I know, because you're horrible that way.

Lisa [00:13:45]:
Curious. Curious, Curious.

Samantha [00:13:47]:
Okay. Canadian politics.

Lisa [00:13:49]:
Always, always a good time. But just not that good. Okay, let's talk about these underpants.

Samantha [00:13:55]:
Oh my God.

Lisa [00:13:56]:
Tenna. The Tenna underpants for men.

Samantha [00:13:59]:
So the.

Lisa [00:14:01]:
And I get, Men have bladders. They get leaky. Yeah, they get, you know, I'm not judging. We're in our leaky years right now. What I'm judging is I feel bad for these men. So, so the commercial plays out. They're in a locker room, right? Bunch of middle aged men, they're in a locker room. One guy's standing behind something that looks like a uniform or something.

Lisa [00:14:21]:
And all of a sudden the locker room kind of starts to clear out and the guy steps out from this image and he's like, I don't mind now being in here with just these few guys. I got my bladder control tennis pants on and I feel comfortable. Nobody can even tell that I'm not in underwear. Dude. Everybody can tell. They're crinkly and they're gray on the bottom and striped. Half striped, half solid. Crinkly with a big pee pad that would go where your penis goes.

Lisa [00:14:54]:
There's nobody that can't tell.

Samantha [00:14:56]:
Actually, I, I saw the picture and I'm like, those don't look like underwear. Those look like a diaper.

Lisa [00:15:02]:
It looks like a diaper and it's going to be crinkly and sound like one too.

Samantha [00:15:05]:
It's going to be horrible.

Lisa [00:15:07]:
And this guy's got. I don't mind being in the locker room. Nobody can tell that I'm not in underwear. Oh my God. And I'm just like, I checked the women's. At least they're white.

Samantha [00:15:16]:
At least they look from what any.

Lisa [00:15:19]:
Woman wants to wear, white panties.

Samantha [00:15:21]:
No, but we, it does look like underwear.

Lisa [00:15:24]:
Ish.

Samantha [00:15:25]:
But the men's do not.

Lisa [00:15:27]:
They do not. Right?

Samantha [00:15:28]:
They do not.

Lisa [00:15:29]:
Why can't they just be a black, brief looking thing?

Samantha [00:15:32]:
Because it is very obvious where the pad is for their peepee.

Lisa [00:15:37]:
And totally. And I get, right, hey, look at, we're all their designer. They're striped. No. Nope, not working.

Samantha [00:15:45]:
It is not working in any way, shape or form.

Lisa [00:15:48]:
It's just not working.

Samantha [00:15:50]:
Why is it that as you get older they develop the worst products? Like nobody really has put time and attention into this, right?

Lisa [00:16:00]:
They just thought, hey, dude's got a leaky dick. Let's figure out how to fix this problem. Right?

Samantha [00:16:05]:
I get that we're getting older, but we're, we're like, we're still self conscious. Like we're still going to care what our underwear looks like.

Lisa [00:16:15]:
There's a reason why most women, why most young ladies didn't love the maxi pad in the 80s.

Samantha [00:16:19]:
Oh my God.

Lisa [00:16:21]:
Right?

Samantha [00:16:21]:
Like that amount of fluff between your legs is so uncomfortable.

Lisa [00:16:26]:
Don't mind me. I just have just me and my mattress.

Samantha [00:16:29]:
As you like.

Lisa [00:16:32]:
And that, and that was before. Thank God there were wings.

Samantha [00:16:36]:
Oh, God, yes. Now that's even better. Because what's even better with the wings is that if you haven't applied it properly, it will attach itself to the side of your leg and when you go to like replace it, you will rip off the skin of the inner leg.

Lisa [00:16:51]:
Nice. Yeah, it's very exciting.

Samantha [00:16:53]:
So revolutionary.

Lisa [00:16:55]:
Why can't we just like, there's an expectation to rubber panties for men.

Samantha [00:16:59]:
Oh, God.

Lisa [00:17:01]:
Right?

Samantha [00:17:01]:
Horrible.

Lisa [00:17:01]:
Bad for those dudes.

Samantha [00:17:03]:
I feel bad for us too. Because the women's don't look that much better.

Lisa [00:17:07]:
They don't look that much better.

Samantha [00:17:09]:
No, because they're, they're like, look at. You can't even tell.

Lisa [00:17:13]:
You can.

Samantha [00:17:13]:
Stop it.

Lisa [00:17:14]:
You can totally tell. Stop it. You can totally tell. Right?

Samantha [00:17:19]:
Getting older is not help. It's not good. And if they don't smarten up, we're going to rise against the people who make these products.

Lisa [00:17:28]:
Yeah, right.

Samantha [00:17:29]:
Revolution, right?

Lisa [00:17:30]:
We're just gonna like start burning them at the stake and like get some new panties.

Samantha [00:17:35]:
We're gonna grab all the bladder control underwear, men and women, and we're gonna throw it into a pile right at like, I don't know, some place in front of a state building and we're gonna light it on fire going, we demand better.

Lisa [00:17:50]:
And then we're gonna ask Donald Trump. We're gonna ask Donald Trump to pass a new law saying it's okay to smell like PE.

Samantha [00:18:00]:
I see a revolution happening.

Lisa [00:18:02]:
Donald Trump's gonna. He's gonna okay everything.

Samantha [00:18:05]:
Well, do you think he's in his bladder control years?

Lisa [00:18:08]:
Sure he is.

Samantha [00:18:08]:
He might.

Lisa [00:18:09]:
Why his pants are so big and baggy? Because he's got some pull ups on. Yeah, I said that. Mr. President elect. Right, okay. But because of. But here's the thing. This is what's happening to us, right? Because we always talk about ourselves because we're like in our middle 50s.

Lisa [00:18:25]:
Sarah Burke was saying, right. Our podcast G was saying that one of the ads on our last episode was for a middle aged dating scene, a dating site called, called Misty Rivers. And it's being advertised and I'm like, I think that's awesome.

Samantha [00:18:45]:
Well, it is, you know, the proper demographic for it, right?

Lisa [00:18:49]:
And what's, what's wrong with that? Misty Rivers. I don't, I. Huh, Sounds great. I went to the website, I saw the pictures. Oh yeah, Pencil me in if I ever need, if I ever am in the market. Misty Rivers it is. It's endorsed by Lisa Gibson.

Samantha [00:19:07]:
Oh my God.

Lisa [00:19:08]:
Looks fine. Really nice looking men on there, right?

Samantha [00:19:12]:
Yes, if they're real.

Lisa [00:19:15]:
They look real, right? No must, no fuss. Sounds perfect. Right.

Samantha [00:19:20]:
Okay. All right, well, you know what? That's all we gotta, that's all we gotta worry about now, is all we gotta show up in between. But I will say this. I mean, we do have a few younger listeners as well.

Lisa [00:19:31]:
We do.

Samantha [00:19:32]:
So maybe they, they could take advantage of the Misty Rivers app and start, you know, shopping for their sugar daddy.

Lisa [00:19:40]:
Oh, go for a sugar daddy. If we only knew now. We only knew then what we know now. Hey, I have to believe I would have sugar daddied it up. I just feel I was born with that being okay, right? With people thinking that's okay, it's okay. I mean, I'm super happy as I am so glad, glad I don't have a sugar daddy. But I think to those who are looking sugar daddy it up.

Samantha [00:20:09]:
I think I would only want a sugar daddy if I knew that the lifespan was a little bit shorter.

Lisa [00:20:14]:
Really? You're going to sugar daddy an old guy? Older guy?

Samantha [00:20:22]:
Yeah. I would need to like be, you know. So what's the life expectancy in your family?

Lisa [00:20:28]:
Right. So we're gonna call you Anna Nicole Smith, right? Ew, not me. Could you do that? Could you do that? Could you do that?

Samantha [00:20:36]:
No.

Lisa [00:20:37]:
Could you dip into that pond?

Samantha [00:20:38]:
No, I don't think so.

Lisa [00:20:39]:
You couldn't dip into the old like that old of a pond?

Samantha [00:20:42]:
No, not that old of a pond.

Lisa [00:20:44]:
Lisa, for a million dollars? No, you couldn't do it for a million dollars? No, I think I could, sure. Probably for less. As long as there's lots of wine involved.

Samantha [00:21:01]:
I need some wine. Let's throw in some gummies, some marijuana gummies. Let's make sure that I don't remember anything.

Lisa [00:21:07]:
All right, Let him get his dinky stinky and let's move on.

Samantha [00:21:11]:
Oh God, please don't start.

Lisa [00:21:14]:
I will take that check at the end. Business transaction completed and we're done.

Samantha [00:21:19]:
Check.

Lisa [00:21:20]:
Thank you. For sure I could. For sure I could.

Samantha [00:21:25]:
Okay. But you know what? Finally being our age has, is starting to pay off.

Lisa [00:21:30]:
Uhuh.

Samantha [00:21:33]:
When I paid less for the breakfast I had on Sunday, this is the first time I think I've paid under $20 for breakfast?

Lisa [00:21:41]:
I think it's. I think it's a hoax.

Samantha [00:21:43]:
It's not a hoax.

Lisa [00:21:44]:
It's a hoax.

Samantha [00:21:45]:
We were. We were at Denny's and Lisa, it was you who brought it up.

Lisa [00:21:49]:
It was, but now I've thought about it and I think it's a hoax.

Samantha [00:21:52]:
Why is it a hoax?

Lisa [00:21:53]:
Because you get less food.

Samantha [00:21:56]:
But apparently not. But apparently when you're older, you don't eat as much.

Lisa [00:22:01]:
Says who?

Samantha [00:22:02]:
I was quite satisfied with the amount of food that I got.

Lisa [00:22:05]:
Because that's all the food you got.

Samantha [00:22:07]:
No, I didn't. I wasn't hungry. I was good.

Lisa [00:22:10]:
You also weren't feeling that great.

Samantha [00:22:12]:
No, but I still got like an omelet, potatoes, toast hoax.

Lisa [00:22:17]:
Oh, you know what? It's a hoax. Because here's the thing, right? I was cooing over the French toast, right? From a. Get the seniors French toast at 55 for like 11.99. You get the regular French toast on the menu for 19 or 17, right? That's a good savings. It's a good savings. Except I'm missing one whole piece of French toast, so it shouldn't be the same amount.

Samantha [00:22:41]:
Don't ever eat everything on your plate. End point.

Lisa [00:22:44]:
You're missing the point.

Samantha [00:22:46]:
Case in point. You got this. You took something off the seniors menu as well, and you left a lot of it.

Lisa [00:22:52]:
I know, but you're missing the point, right? They're not giving us a deal. They're giving us less food and saying. And we're thinking, woo. Such a good deal. It's not. I shouldn't have to pay the full price. It's less.

Samantha [00:23:03]:
Have you never, like, encountered a seniors menu before? I knew it going in that I was getting less food. How did you not know?

Lisa [00:23:10]:
I did not know. I did not know.

Samantha [00:23:12]:
Yes, you did.

Lisa [00:23:13]:
I didn't know that you get less food.

Samantha [00:23:14]:
I think less food, less money. Perfect. Excellent. Count me in.

Lisa [00:23:18]:
I don't think I need the Denny's to portion control me.

Samantha [00:23:21]:
Well, I. Shut up. I don't need them to portion controlling you, you freak. We actually like Denny's. We're not discounting them. We're not being mean about. We're not just lease is weird. And this is where the conversation is going.

Lisa [00:23:38]:
I just thought about it and I might. You're not a deal.

Samantha [00:23:42]:
I am excited that finally being over the age of 55 is paying off somehow. And that means less. Less money for food that I eat. And I was very excited about it.

Lisa [00:23:53]:
But what if you were?

Samantha [00:23:54]:
Apparently, you are not. Apparently you're broken holes in it, and I'm just like, I can't have that with you.

Lisa [00:23:59]:
What if you were super hungry?

Samantha [00:24:01]:
Then you would order a regular meal, you dingbat.

Lisa [00:24:04]:
Why can't I still be super hungry at 55? That's what I don't like. They're telling me at 55, I don't get to be hungry.

Samantha [00:24:10]:
And yet. No, they're not. They're saying, here's a menu. If you would like less, here it is. But if you want more, here's the other side of the menu. Oh, my God. Lisa. It's called choice.

Samantha [00:24:20]:
You've heard of that, right?

Lisa [00:24:22]:
No, that's not what they're saying.

Samantha [00:24:23]:
It's like you and the egg salad and how you chose the wrap when you could have chosen bread, but you chose the wrap. That's a choice choice.

Lisa [00:24:30]:
I need Donald Trump to weigh in on this and make and pass a bill about, guess what? My body, my portion.

Samantha [00:24:39]:
Shut up. Oh, my God.

Lisa [00:24:43]:
That's what I'm saying. Right As I just didn't appreciate the fact that when I thought about it, in hindsight.

Samantha [00:24:49]:
You're horrible.

Lisa [00:24:50]:
You decided how much food I got to eat.

Samantha [00:24:53]:
No, they don't decide. It's based on what they're offering you.

Lisa [00:24:57]:
I want the deal. I want to be 55 and get the deal on the same portion.

Samantha [00:25:01]:
You still don't know. You can't. They're feeding you more, so you pay more.

Lisa [00:25:06]:
But that's not a deal. That's not a deal. Not a deal.

Samantha [00:25:10]:
I can't. My head hurts.

Lisa [00:25:12]:
There's no reward.

Samantha [00:25:13]:
It's only. It's only the beginning of the week.

Lisa [00:25:16]:
There's no reward in that.

Samantha [00:25:18]:
I need you.

Lisa [00:25:18]:
I appreciate it, but you're running.

Samantha [00:25:20]:
You're trying to run circles, and I. I need you to stop. You're making me dizzy.

Lisa [00:25:23]:
Listen, you know what? I need you. I. I need you to weigh in on this. I'm worried about when we have to start worrying about brittle bones now because my legs are looking skinny.

Samantha [00:25:34]:
You look like a chicken.

Lisa [00:25:36]:
I got a vein. I got baby calves. And Mike's always like, you need to drink water. Now my calves are telling me I need to drink water. That's the thing. In my 55th year, I don't like people deciding my portion controls.

Samantha [00:25:50]:
And if you have to have water.

Lisa [00:25:53]:
And if I have to have water. Yeah, right.

Samantha [00:25:55]:
So we need to worry now, Lisa. The worry is now.

Lisa [00:25:59]:
I hate water. I hate water.

Samantha [00:26:01]:
I know, and I shake my head. The fact that you hate water. I Shake my head about that because you know that you need some water in your life.

Lisa [00:26:09]:
Alice, the camel has two humps. Alice, the camel has two humps. I know I need some, and I do drink some. I do my best water drinking at bedtime.

Samantha [00:26:21]:
And that's why you go pee in the middle of the night.

Lisa [00:26:23]:
I guess you tell me that's when I like it. You need to stop name calling. You need to stop calling name people names.

Samantha [00:26:32]:
No, I'm not. I'm not going to do that. All right, so now we're gonna start today.

Lisa [00:26:37]:
So now the Denny's is going to tell me what I can eat. Donald Trump's telling me what I can do with my body, and now my. My veiny legs are telling me what I need to do with my water.

Samantha [00:26:47]:
Yes, Lisa, it is full circle. It's a full circle moment. Oh, look at that. We've created a full circle moment for Friends of the podcast.

Lisa [00:26:54]:
I don't love that.

Samantha [00:26:55]:
I'm sorry that you've had to listen to this conversation.

Lisa [00:27:00]:
I can't be the only one. Lots of times people will pipe in saying, I understand, Lisa.

Samantha [00:27:04]:
No, they don't. They're lying. They're just trying to be nice to you.

Lisa [00:27:08]:
Well, I appreciate their. I appreciate the kindness.

Samantha [00:27:11]:
The total opposite of me.

Lisa [00:27:12]:
Totally. You're not that girl.

Samantha [00:27:14]:
No, I'm not.

Lisa [00:27:15]:
You're not that girl. Okay, listen. Do you think, Samantha, that today's kids know the joys of quick? Like, you remember quick in your milk.

Samantha [00:27:25]:
Oh, okay. Yes.

Lisa [00:27:26]:
Instant hot chocolate or waiting all day, remember, for the frozen orange juice to thaw?

Samantha [00:27:31]:
Yeah.

Lisa [00:27:32]:
Do you think kids today know about that stuff? No, because they don't want to wait for anything. Right? Kids today don't like to wait.

Samantha [00:27:40]:
Well, quick is pretty quick. It's just squeeze. Pretty quick, squeeze it into some milk, and all of a sudden, boom, you're done.

Lisa [00:27:46]:
Not to squeeze the powder, remember, you had to put in the work. Remember the quick powder? You had to put the work in. Then you have the chunks. You had to mix the chunks. Oh, my God, look at you. No patience.

Samantha [00:27:59]:
No. In my brain, I was only thinking squeezable quick.

Lisa [00:28:05]:
No, because I didn't do squeezable quick. I just like quick quick.

Samantha [00:28:11]:
You don't like. I don't understand your problems because today's instant hot chocolate is instant. It is, like, done in a millisecond.

Lisa [00:28:19]:
Okay, so then maybe the problem. Actually, I shake my head at the fact that hot chocolate hasn't evolved. Why hasn't hot chocolate evolved?

Samantha [00:28:27]:
You're swinging the pendulum of crazy. One minute you're like it had. The kids don't know how to have patience, and the next minute you're saying it's too much. The hot chocolate hasn't evolved. Hot chocolate has been instant forever.

Lisa [00:28:42]:
Right. So now maybe it needs to become something different.

Samantha [00:28:45]:
No. What, harder?

Lisa [00:28:47]:
Well, maybe.

Samantha [00:28:49]:
Maybe we gotta work for it, I think. Oh, my God.

Lisa [00:28:56]:
You got no answers.

Samantha [00:28:57]:
Did you wake up with a slice of crazy today? Because this is what's happening. Because I don't understand what we're talking about now. Are we talking about the fact that quick was too. Was not quick enough for them or they wouldn't have patience for that?

Lisa [00:29:10]:
They don't have patience for quick.

Samantha [00:29:11]:
And now you have problems with frozen orange juice because you think that. That the kids today wouldn't have patience to wait it. To watch it melt?

Lisa [00:29:18]:
Never. They're not going to.

Samantha [00:29:20]:
It's called hot water, Lisa.

Lisa [00:29:22]:
No, but that's not what we used to do. We used to just set it in the sink and let it thaw.

Samantha [00:29:27]:
What kind of household were you in?

Lisa [00:29:29]:
A good one. What kind were you in wasting money and water? One, apparently.

Samantha [00:29:36]:
I'm like, so confused at what your problem is right now. Is it the quick?

Lisa [00:29:40]:
It's you.

Samantha [00:29:41]:
Is it the quickest of the quick or is it the slowness of the melt of the orange juice?

Lisa [00:29:46]:
It's the fact that you really, really confused. Your mom was okay with the fact that you could just run the hot water willy nilly.

Samantha [00:29:53]:
That's how you got the frozen orange juice out of the can.

Lisa [00:29:55]:
Nope. You waited till the next daily, said, it'll be ready for you in the morning.

Samantha [00:29:59]:
No. Because your mother was teaching you patience. My mother was. Let's get it done.

Lisa [00:30:05]:
We had. We grew up differently, apparently.

Samantha [00:30:08]:
You got taught differently.

Lisa [00:30:11]:
Right.

Samantha [00:30:11]:
That's the problem is that your mother taught you weird. In really weird ways, how to have patience and made you believe that orange juice had to sit overnight to be.

Lisa [00:30:23]:
Used the next day? Sits overnight. So you can use it the next.

Samantha [00:30:26]:
Day when it was called using hot water. Like never.

Lisa [00:30:29]:
No. Seems like a waste of money. And the hot water doesn't stay hot for too long because you're putting something frozen in hot water.

Samantha [00:30:37]:
Oh, my God.

Lisa [00:30:38]:
You're very confrontational today.

Samantha [00:30:40]:
I'm not. I just don't understand how you grew up like that.

Lisa [00:30:45]:
That's just how we grew up.

Samantha [00:30:46]:
I don't get it.

Lisa [00:30:47]:
I grew up with please and thank you too, you know?

Samantha [00:30:50]:
Yes. And we did as well.

Lisa [00:30:52]:
Right. So if Mom Said that the orange juice sits in the sink until it's thawed in the morning. That's what it did.

Samantha [00:30:59]:
You know what? I feel like your.

Lisa [00:31:01]:
Your.

Samantha [00:31:02]:
Your childhood was a weird experiment of your mother's. She was like. She was a mad scientist who was like, let's up the kids.

Lisa [00:31:12]:
She was messing with us. Eh, it's very possible. It's very possible, actually, she could have been messing with us.

Samantha [00:31:19]:
She had very strange ways of teaching you things.

Lisa [00:31:22]:
She did, right? She did. We're not here to bash my mom. Rest in peace.

Samantha [00:31:25]:
I'm not bashing your mother. I just feel it' odd that you think of these things. And I'm like, nobody grew up like that. Nobody did.

Lisa [00:31:37]:
There was lost. Yes.

Samantha [00:31:42]:
I can.

Lisa [00:31:45]:
Oh, my God. I don't know, Samantha.

Samantha [00:31:48]:
Oh, and this explains Santa.

Lisa [00:31:50]:
And it's just so weird how after all these years, we somehow met and became friends.

Samantha [00:31:56]:
I. I think it's just because how did I become the logical one? That's the scary part.

Lisa [00:32:03]:
Well, I'm super logical, but not in life, right?

Samantha [00:32:05]:
No, you're not.

Lisa [00:32:06]:
In life. Not. Not life logical.

Samantha [00:32:09]:
Your life skills suck.

Lisa [00:32:11]:
Yeah, I'm like, work logical, business logical, but life logical.

Samantha [00:32:14]:
No.

Lisa [00:32:15]:
I just muddle through, right?

Samantha [00:32:17]:
Oh, my God. Oh, it explains so much. Okay, but you know how we were. You were bashing people who, like, put clothing on their dogs and cats got some pictures. Well, guess what, Lisa? This is going to make you shake your head because I watched. I watched Veto the Dog father. I watched his nighttime routine.

Lisa [00:32:42]:
Oh, Jesus.

Samantha [00:32:44]:
And it was adorable.

Lisa [00:32:46]:
Of course.

Samantha [00:32:46]:
He was a golden doodle. I'm like, yay to the golden doodles. What? What?

Lisa [00:32:49]:
Totally.

Samantha [00:32:50]:
They're. They're, like, so adorable. And I. I would have to say that Vito's nighttime routine rivals any routine of a human.

Lisa [00:33:00]:
Why are we doing this with a dog?

Samantha [00:33:02]:
It is. It was too adorable. There was teeth brushing. There was washing of the ears and face. There was washing paws. There was a face massage. It was a face roller involved. He put PJs on.

Samantha [00:33:14]:
He got tucked into bed with his little Tuffy every night. Shut up.

Lisa [00:33:20]:
Like, shut up. But I'm saying shut up for different reasons. Shut up.

Samantha [00:33:23]:
Oh, it was so adorable.

Lisa [00:33:24]:
It's not. It doesn't make sense.

Samantha [00:33:26]:
Yes, it does.

Lisa [00:33:27]:
They don't need pajamas.

Samantha [00:33:30]:
Yes, they do.

Lisa [00:33:31]:
Kathy sent us a picture of her, of her pit bull. And she said, I don't remember what the pit bull's name is. And she said, he needs to wear boots and a coat because he likes to go outside when it's cold to meet his friends and he doesn't have much furniture. Okay, this was me. Okay? I get it. Except the fact that it's a pit bull, and the pit bull should be like, fuck this coat. Fuck these shoes.

Samantha [00:33:55]:
And it was so that.

Lisa [00:33:57]:
Super cute.

Samantha [00:33:58]:
Adorable.

Lisa [00:33:58]:
It was super cute.

Samantha [00:34:00]:
However, his face was on the bench as if, like, oh, my God, I can't believe I'm wearing that.

Lisa [00:34:07]:
Right? I can't believe these are the things I'm doing.

Samantha [00:34:09]:
Oh, it was so cute.

Lisa [00:34:11]:
Yeah, right? So. Okay. No, don't.

Samantha [00:34:13]:
I'm just saying people. And I've seen cats have nighttime routines. I've seen cats get spa days where they get, like, moisturized paws and rolling things on their face and.

Lisa [00:34:24]:
And they can lick parts of their body. That's why they don't get a spa day, because they can lick themselves nicely, right? Up goes their leg over their head, and they lick away. Right. Pretty sure if we could do that, we wouldn't be wasting our money on the spa. And they can jump on your lap and be petted.

Samantha [00:34:44]:
But now we're. You're just going to create more enemies, right? Because people probably do this at home with their dogs.

Lisa [00:34:49]:
Probably do, but I don't get it. I like. Then we're treating our pets like our kids, and that's not cool.

Samantha [00:34:55]:
But maybe pets are kids to some people.

Lisa [00:34:59]:
I get that they can love them like they would love a kid if they had a kid. I get that. And I get that people love their pets, right? My kid's sister, they just had to put down Ruby, right? A wonderful cat. It's very sad, but not really that wonderful in real life. Kind of like Buddy. Kind of a bad cat. But it's funny how in. In death, nobody talks about the fact that Ruby just peed all the time in your suitcase.

Lisa [00:35:23]:
If she could. She didn't like men. Nobody remembers that. Nobody talks about your cat and how you'd go away and you'd go to help Buddy, and he'd just sit there and like, sh. Right there. No. Once they die, they're the best things. Oh, we do that with humans, too, right? Oh, Grandma.

Lisa [00:35:44]:
I know. We didn't like her. We didn't like her. Hey, stop.

Samantha [00:35:49]:
Stop airing your. Your family's history.

Lisa [00:35:53]:
Just saying, I'm sorry for all people that lose pets. I think it's sad, right? I've lost pets. It's sad. But if you don't have a great pet, it's.

Samantha [00:36:04]:
That's your perception of that pet. That is not their perception of that pet.

Lisa [00:36:09]:
Your cat was bad.

Samantha [00:36:10]:
My cat was delightful.

Lisa [00:36:12]:
Your cat ate a needle.

Samantha [00:36:14]:
My cat? Yeah, he ate a needle.

Lisa [00:36:15]:
That was scary and cost you money. Yeah, he did.

Samantha [00:36:19]:
And kids cost money, too.

Lisa [00:36:21]:
I'm not trying to be a hater of pets.

Samantha [00:36:24]:
You are a little.

Lisa [00:36:25]:
I'm not at all.

Samantha [00:36:26]:
That's not why you have a stuffed one.

Lisa [00:36:31]:
Right?

Samantha [00:36:31]:
There's no debt, Bill.

Lisa [00:36:32]:
She's not peeing where she's not supposed to pee. She likes her Santa hat. But begrudgingly.

Samantha [00:36:38]:
Begrudgingly.

Lisa [00:36:39]:
Fine without it, right?

Samantha [00:36:40]:
All right, all right.

Lisa [00:36:41]:
You know what, though? This is what. This is a lesson. Friends of the podcast and Lisa and Sam right here. Coming up in what I'm about to share. This has gone on for years, and I have a proven track record of being right in it. Sam refuses to trust me when it comes to parking. This is what happens every time. Every time.

Lisa [00:37:06]:
And it just happened on the weekend we went to some cheesy little Christmas craft show. Park. Sam's, like, ready to park so far away, and I'm like, do you want to maybe just see if we can get a little bit closer? There's not going to be anything up there. There's nothing up there. You.

Samantha [00:37:23]:
We don't know that.

Lisa [00:37:24]:
We haven't gone up there to see. So what do I say? Maybe we could just do, like, a little drive around. There'll be nothing. That's. You totally right. There'll be nothing. We pull up. 1, 2, 3.

Lisa [00:37:41]:
Which one would you like? The closest one. The kind of closest one. Or back? Four miles back where you wanted to park because there was not going to be anything.

Samantha [00:37:50]:
We got lucky.

Lisa [00:37:52]:
We didn't. We do this with everything. No. Every time you and I have to park, whether it be in a mall, whether it be at a gift show, whether it be at some place I.

Samantha [00:38:01]:
You know what? I hate parking with you.

Lisa [00:38:04]:
I know the art of parking and finding a spot.

Samantha [00:38:09]:
Oh, my God. Let me guess. You're gonna, like, put together a class and teach people the art of parking.

Lisa [00:38:14]:
I might go on tick tock and do the art of the park right. And teach. Teach people right. It's really simple.

Samantha [00:38:22]:
Is it called patience?

Lisa [00:38:24]:
Do a drive by.

Samantha [00:38:25]:
Do a drive.

Lisa [00:38:26]:
Do a drive by, See if there's anything closer.

Samantha [00:38:29]:
Huh?

Lisa [00:38:30]:
That's all you got? It's one step is what it is.

Samantha [00:38:33]:
You know what? I think the art of the park for you, Lisa, is the art of how far am I not willing to walk?

Lisa [00:38:39]:
Totally. It's my first thing. I don't want to walk this Far. It's kind of rainy and slushy outside. I feel we can do better than here. Right? I have a really high bar when it comes to parking. I feel we can do better. We can do better, Samantha.

Lisa [00:38:51]:
We can do better.

Samantha [00:38:52]:
What did you confess to me that day? That you would never do what you did to me, to your husband. Because you can't be bothered to fight.

Lisa [00:39:01]:
I don't want to fight. Right. We're just parking wherever. Wherever the cars won't get dinged.

Samantha [00:39:09]:
So you go five rounds with me and it's my car.

Lisa [00:39:14]:
Yeah, right. But that's a friendship.

Samantha [00:39:16]:
My car, my choice.

Lisa [00:39:17]:
Yeah, it's not your car. Your choice.

Samantha [00:39:20]:
My car, my choice.

Lisa [00:39:21]:
I'm not get Donald Trump to sign off on that one. That's not right, Mr. Trump, not your car, not your choice.

Samantha [00:39:30]:
It is. Totally.

Lisa [00:39:32]:
But are. But when we find the closer one, you seem to reap the rewards and be quite thankful. Oddly enough, you aren't. You're never like, oh, shoot, I just preferred that one way back there.

Samantha [00:39:42]:
Oh God.

Lisa [00:39:44]:
Never once have I hear you say, I think I'm going to go back to that one. Never.

Samantha [00:39:47]:
Uhhuh.

Lisa [00:39:48]:
Okay. Just saying.

Samantha [00:39:49]:
All right, all right, calm down.

Lisa [00:39:52]:
All right.

Samantha [00:39:53]:
The Art of the park.

Lisa [00:39:54]:
The Art of the park by Lisa Gibson.

Samantha [00:39:57]:
Uhuh. Did you know that there's chicken slippers?

Lisa [00:39:59]:
What do you.

Samantha [00:40:01]:
Yeah, they're little coverings.

Lisa [00:40:02]:
Handle these things?

Samantha [00:40:03]:
Yeah, chicken slippers. Little coverings that go on the end of a drumstick wing.

Lisa [00:40:08]:
Why?

Samantha [00:40:09]:
I don't know. Because we don't want to get our fingers messy.

Lisa [00:40:12]:
See, like a napkin.

Samantha [00:40:14]:
I don't know.

Lisa [00:40:15]:
Because we don't want to get our fingers dirty as we're eating a chicken wing.

Samantha [00:40:19]:
A lovely chicken wing.

Lisa [00:40:21]:
So we put something at the end of it. I'm just thinking to hold on so we don't get our fingers dirty.

Samantha [00:40:29]:
The little spears you can get to eat corn on the cobs.

Lisa [00:40:32]:
Never really understood those either. I don't, I don't. I don't think I get chicken slippers. And why they have to be called slippers? I guess because it's. Is the wing. Is that not even their foot? Well, is the wing their foot? No wing.

Samantha [00:40:47]:
It's not their foot.

Lisa [00:40:47]:
Do they have feet? Where is their foot?

Samantha [00:40:49]:
Well, the feet are gone. Because we would be eating chicken fing.

Lisa [00:40:53]:
Right?

Samantha [00:40:54]:
Chicken feet.

Lisa [00:40:55]:
Right. We're not doing that.

Samantha [00:40:56]:
No, we're not. But apparently we like to dress up our food now.

Lisa [00:41:00]:
Apparently. Now we need to dress up our food.

Samantha [00:41:02]:
I wonder who came up with that. Concept.

Lisa [00:41:05]:
I don't know because I don't like to get my fingers dirty. But when I decide to embark on a wing, I know it comes with the territory.

Samantha [00:41:12]:
Yes, you do.

Lisa [00:41:12]:
I make and I just go for it and lick away, you know?

Samantha [00:41:20]:
I don't know. Like somebody's got to make money off of that.

Lisa [00:41:23]:
Somebody's got to make money.

Samantha [00:41:26]:
How come you can't invent something fun like that?

Lisa [00:41:28]:
Because I made. I am meant for bigger things.

Samantha [00:41:32]:
Are you now?

Lisa [00:41:33]:
Right. I don't know what it is yet. But I'm meant for big, big, big, big. Tell you that right now. Just gotta figure out what it is. Okay. And you know what? And I didn't this either. And I wish that I had.

Lisa [00:41:44]:
Only thing different is that I'd make it for a woman, not just a man. The Buckley belt. Have you seen this on the Instagram? It's an adjustable belt that's like a zipper. Shows dude sitting down and just like, like, like relieving a little notch on his belt. And it's like a. It's like heaven. I want a belt like that. I would wear.

Lisa [00:42:04]:
I. Maybe I would wear a belt.

Samantha [00:42:06]:
When's the last time you wore a belt?

Lisa [00:42:09]:
Problem is, is that when you have a little bit of back fat, it chafes. So it's not a pleasurable experience.

Samantha [00:42:15]:
I remember the pants you used to wear when you worked at Bennington.

Lisa [00:42:18]:
Really? Do we need to do this? They're popular now. A belted dress pant is popular. Belts are popular, right? They just maybe weren't then.

Samantha [00:42:30]:
Oh, those are fun pants.

Lisa [00:42:33]:
Right? Good times, good times. Do men complain about wearing a belt?

Samantha [00:42:37]:
Well, I can't imagine that, you know, it's comfortable. Sometimes it's not comfortable, but it's optional.

Lisa [00:42:42]:
Nobody says they have to.

Samantha [00:42:43]:
No. Unless they want their pants to fall down.

Lisa [00:42:46]:
But then they're wearing pants that are too big. They have control over that, right?

Samantha [00:42:49]:
Do they?

Lisa [00:42:50]:
I don't know. Do they?

Samantha [00:42:52]:
I don't know. Do you?

Lisa [00:42:53]:
If you. If I buy my pants too big, I feel I have some control over that.

Samantha [00:42:57]:
I think what you do is just roll your pants until they don't fall down anymore.

Lisa [00:43:01]:
I roll till I get a front wedgie, right? Roll and roll and roll. And then, and then you roll and you're like, oh, nope, too far. And you unroll one and then you know they're right where they're supposed to be. I shall not show off a camel toe.

Samantha [00:43:18]:
Like, I don't know the last time you actually like put like the waistband of A pant around your stomach? No, because your whole beef was that.

Lisa [00:43:31]:
It's.

Samantha [00:43:31]:
You have a short.

Lisa [00:43:32]:
I'm short in the rise, right? I don't have much of a rise. It's true. I'm short in the rise.

Samantha [00:43:38]:
I just tried to, like, understand that.

Lisa [00:43:40]:
Like, you want me to wear my pants like Urkel. Like, up to my boobs.

Samantha [00:43:43]:
You know what? That would be really fun.

Lisa [00:43:45]:
That would be really a pretty. Wouldn't it?

Samantha [00:43:48]:
I think it would be.

Lisa [00:43:49]:
I just. I'm really short in the rice, so. So I either have way too much crotch or way too much waste, so I gotta roll them.

Samantha [00:43:57]:
But then where would you wear this. This Buckley belt?

Lisa [00:44:00]:
Where would I wear it? Well, first off, they have to make one for me, and if they did, they make women's. I haven't seen one.

Samantha [00:44:08]:
Elisa. I fact checked. I'm not sure why I fact checked. What are you in search of the Buckley belt and they make women's. I'm like, why am I fact checking? I don't know. Let's just roll with that.

Lisa [00:44:21]:
Wow. I think it's kind of going against all things on our podcast.

Samantha [00:44:25]:
I know.

Lisa [00:44:26]:
I feel like I don't even know you right now.

Samantha [00:44:28]:
We like to roll with no knowledge whatsoever.

Lisa [00:44:31]:
Yet now she pulls out the fact check. Right? Like CNN. Sorry?

Samantha [00:44:34]:
For the podcast.

Lisa [00:44:35]:
Donald Trump lied 32 times in the last 30 seconds. 32 times in the last 30 seconds. CNN can prove that. Our fact checker, Samantha, she can validate that 32 times. Yes, 32 times in the last 30 seconds. Oh, Buckley belt definitely does come in a feminine belt.

Samantha [00:44:51]:
They do. They make women. So you know what? I think you should order one and give it a go and let us know.

Lisa [00:44:57]:
But then I got to wear it.

Samantha [00:44:59]:
It's showing up on our Instagram feed, so apparently ears are listening because I.

Lisa [00:45:06]:
Started to follow the Buckley belt.

Samantha [00:45:09]:
Why are you following it? Oh, it's not that revolutionary, is it?

Lisa [00:45:14]:
Beauty. Lisa and Sam, having shared social media.

Samantha [00:45:17]:
I have to see the. That she follows.

Lisa [00:45:22]:
Which is so funny, right?

Samantha [00:45:23]:
Oh, it's just clutter.

Lisa [00:45:25]:
And this sister who doesn't know that that my Instagram is. Is. I shake my head. And also yours, right? And she just sends it all the time. I'm like.

Samantha [00:45:38]:
And I'm just like. I'm ignoring that. This is not for me.

Lisa [00:45:42]:
It's gonna be about a cat. Just gonna be about a cat or something inappropriate that we shouldn't laugh at.

Samantha [00:45:47]:
But we do reasons for all the wrong reasons, Lisa.

Lisa [00:45:51]:
And the HHG sends them there, too. Not Knowing it's for everybody.

Samantha [00:45:56]:
Well, they know now, so there we go.

Lisa [00:45:58]:
All right, well, I will look at the. I will. I will check out the Buckley belt.

Samantha [00:46:03]:
Okay, well, you know what else is coming across my feed is stupid ads for fancy pots and pans. And I'm like, is this, like, a weird sign from the universe that I have to start to cook? Because I'm gonna totally resist that with all my money.

Lisa [00:46:19]:
I don't think it's that. You know what I think it is? I think it's a weird sign that they know that we don't cook and that, hey, you guys, you're 55. You probably should have decent pots and pans.

Samantha [00:46:29]:
I do. I don't need more.

Lisa [00:46:31]:
But they're not decent. We just have basic. Right. You know what? We have a saucepan. We have a pot, a big pot and a pan. I need three. What do you use all the other ones for?

Samantha [00:46:44]:
I have no idea.

Lisa [00:46:45]:
Like, the little one that doesn't hold anything. The next little one that doesn't hold anything. I like the one up that holds stuff.

Samantha [00:46:52]:
Yeah. I mean, like, let's be real. I was talking to my mom yesterday, and she's like. She's like, so, yeah, we're gonna do this for Christmas. And I'm like, okay. And she's. And I said, you know, I can cook, but I choose not to. And she's like, we know, dear.

Samantha [00:47:10]:
I can make some stuff. It's okay.

Lisa [00:47:13]:
Right? And take it and run. But here's the thing. I would love to go into a fancy pots and pan store and have that salesperson try to convince me that my craft dinner will be enhanced by using that potential.

Samantha [00:47:27]:
I would. Yes.

Lisa [00:47:28]:
Right. How will my scrambled eggs be improved?

Samantha [00:47:31]:
Will it have magical properties?

Lisa [00:47:33]:
Yeah, like. Like, what is it like? Oh, it won't stick. It doesn't stick now, that's why it's called T foul. Doesn't stick. It says no non stick. T foul.

Samantha [00:47:41]:
I don't know.

Lisa [00:47:42]:
Right.

Samantha [00:47:43]:
Like, we cannot be the only people that. That this comes across. Like, what other weird ads. Friends of the podcast are coming across your feed that make me think, should I be doing that? Should I be doing that?

Lisa [00:47:54]:
Should I be thinking about that?

Samantha [00:47:56]:
I don't want.

Lisa [00:47:57]:
Did I send you that picture? You know, I came across my feet today. These little. These little. I don't know, it kind of looks like a croissant, but it's like a. Like, you know, those. Like a filo pastry.

Samantha [00:48:09]:
Yes.

Lisa [00:48:10]:
Little gris. It's a gruyere and mix. Yes. And. And cranberries cooked. Because if you eat Gruyere, Samantha, you're automatically fancier.

Samantha [00:48:23]:
No, you're not.

Lisa [00:48:25]:
Yeah, sure you are. You're classier. You bet.

Samantha [00:48:27]:
No, you're not.

Lisa [00:48:28]:
Brie. Don't do it anymore. It's Gruyere.

Samantha [00:48:30]:
Oh, it's Gruyere. Brie.

Lisa [00:48:32]:
Yeah, breeze out. Breeze. Everybody can do Brie. Brie's been overdone, right? Who's doing Gruyere?

Samantha [00:48:39]:
Oh, my God.

Lisa [00:48:40]:
Makes it fancier.

Samantha [00:48:41]:
This is just too adulty for me.

Lisa [00:48:45]:
This is just saying no.

Samantha [00:48:46]:
Too much.

Lisa [00:48:47]:
No to expensive pans.

Samantha [00:48:48]:
Yeah, like, you want to make an.

Lisa [00:48:50]:
Expensive pots and pan set that just has the three I need. Okay, maybe. But I don't want seven other ones that I have to find a home for. Right? I don't need that. I don't need that stress in my life. What, what, what drawer do they go in? What cupboard do they fit into? How many lids came with it? I don't. I don't need that. That's just more dishes.

Samantha [00:49:11]:
I will not go quietly into this Good night as an old person.

Lisa [00:49:15]:
Oh, we're going and fighting. Going in. Fighting, right? That's what you're doing.

Samantha [00:49:20]:
Like, are you kidding me? Like, now we're getting ads for, like, belts that are less complicated underwear for when you gotta go pee when you can't find and you just decide to go to the bathroom, get to the bathroom, just pee. And now they're trying to guilt me into, like, pretending I'd like to cook. It's not going to happen.

Lisa [00:49:40]:
I don't want any of those things, right? No, I want any of those things. But here's something, right? And I don't know if this is just AI or if it's real. I don't know enough about AI and you know me, right? In my 55th year, there's always so much more that I feel like I want to learn in life very little. And I'm not sure if AI is where I want to invest that little bit of time, but on the tick tock, there's these really cool videos of hot men. And I'm talking hot young men, like, probably like from like the Misty Mountain river people and younger and younger hot men rescuing friendliest polar bears ever. Have you seen this?

Samantha [00:50:18]:
Polar bears are not friendly.

Lisa [00:50:20]:
These ones are. They're so thankful to be being rescued in the sea otter. And they're hugging them and they're like, oh, remember when I used to die? It used to get. Remember the. The dodo? And it was like with The. With the pets. People would find the pets. I like that.

Lisa [00:50:37]:
Now with these guys, right? They're on, like, the big barges that go in the ocean and.

Samantha [00:50:42]:
I not believe this.

Lisa [00:50:44]:
No, no.

Samantha [00:50:45]:
I need you to not believe this. I saw that video. It's not true. I saw the otter.

Lisa [00:50:52]:
AI.

Samantha [00:50:53]:
Lisa, you just said it's AI. You just admitted that it's AI.

Lisa [00:50:58]:
I don't know if it is. I don't want it to be AI.

Samantha [00:51:01]:
There's no way on this God screen Earth that a polar bear is going to hug a human if it's being saved. No.

Lisa [00:51:11]:
Really?

Samantha [00:51:12]:
Okay. If I'm wrong, people, send me the clip. I'm. But I did not.

Lisa [00:51:17]:
I need people to look real.

Samantha [00:51:19]:
That was not real people to look at these.

Lisa [00:51:21]:
No, but the men are real, right? Because they're hot.

Samantha [00:51:24]:
The men are probably not real either.

Lisa [00:51:26]:
They're not real either.

Samantha [00:51:28]:
You can do so much editing.

Lisa [00:51:31]:
Wonder what we look like. AI ish.

Samantha [00:51:33]:
I bet you we look flawless. And you could potentially grow your hair so nice, Right?

Lisa [00:51:40]:
I could have long hair and a bang like you. Only if I get the gray on top, though. That's the only way.

Samantha [00:51:45]:
Only if you get gray.

Lisa [00:51:47]:
Only if I get gray. Right. Interesting. Okay. So you think it's AI. Yeah.

Samantha [00:51:51]:
I would like to say going back. Rounding back out to the Denny's. Is that the girl who took our order? When we ordered off the 55 plus menu, she was like. You were like, please card us. And I'm like. She's like, I don't card people. I just go, okay, sure, why not?

Lisa [00:52:06]:
She just believes.

Samantha [00:52:08]:
She just believes, or she doesn't care because she's just the server.

Lisa [00:52:12]:
Yeah. She don't care. Right. Who's questioning that? I guess.

Samantha [00:52:15]:
But you really wanted to be carded.

Lisa [00:52:17]:
I did. Right. Like, you know, like going to the liquor store for your first time. I want to get carded. Having none of it. She was having.

Samantha [00:52:24]:
I know.

Lisa [00:52:24]:
And it was good. I'm just saying. Right? I think. Yes.

Samantha [00:52:28]:
No, no, no, no. I need us to talk about Sunday Spotlight.

Lisa [00:52:33]:
This was. Okay.

Samantha [00:52:35]:
I first would like to address the lack of responses for your question.

Lisa [00:52:41]:
People, people.

Samantha [00:52:44]:
It's good if you don't have a celebrity that you think is your perfect 10.

Lisa [00:52:48]:
There has to be a celebrity. It was such an easy one.

Samantha [00:52:50]:
I don't understand how you lived your young life.

Lisa [00:52:55]:
I get you don't want to tell me what you put on the pizza. That's a lot of work.

Samantha [00:53:00]:
But could you just admit to loving Rob Lowe?

Lisa [00:53:02]:
Or just Rob Lowe? DWAYNE the Rock Johnson.

Samantha [00:53:05]:
Yes. Okay. Because we did get a few listeners to actually answer the question. Thank you. For those who did, I appreciate you. For those who didn't, shame on you.

Lisa [00:53:18]:
Shame on you. Yes.

Samantha [00:53:19]:
I'm going there today. I'm going there today. I will say this, though. Cindy Harder loves Dwayne Rock Johnson and said she would climb up like a tree.

Lisa [00:53:30]:
That's our girl, Cindy. Oh, my God.

Samantha [00:53:33]:
And I'm like, I'm there with you. I climb him like a tree, too.

Lisa [00:53:36]:
I wouldn't. That's. That's. He's too big.

Samantha [00:53:38]:
Ah. He's fun.

Lisa [00:53:40]:
It's too big. Karen and Carol.

Samantha [00:53:42]:
Karen.

Lisa [00:53:42]:
They both chose Richard Gere. And I kind of get that. Not maybe now Richard Gere, but a little bit, maybe 10 years ago. I think Richard Gere has the happiest eyes.

Samantha [00:53:53]:
He does.

Lisa [00:53:54]:
He has happy eyes.

Samantha [00:53:55]:
Hey, he does. And apparently sisters stick together because you and your sister Krista chose Rob Lowe.

Lisa [00:54:02]:
Totally. We did. Totally. Right? We don't straight up. Hey. We don't stray off the Rob Low train very far.

Samantha [00:54:10]:
Wendy picked Ryan Reynolds. Ryan Reynolds with double hearts.

Lisa [00:54:14]:
That's an interesting one. Hey, he's cute. He's cute. He is cute.

Samantha [00:54:19]:
He's cute. But my pick. My pick is Pedro Pascal, who also.

Lisa [00:54:23]:
Looks like Burt Reynolds.

Samantha [00:54:25]:
Oh, yes. But you know what? I like Pedro Pascal.

Lisa [00:54:28]:
I don't get that pick at all. It's so cute. Never got that pick. I've never understood that pick.

Samantha [00:54:33]:
I get it right.

Lisa [00:54:35]:
Facebook. What about Facebook? What about Facebook? Tuesday Facebook? This one was on you this week, Samantha.

Samantha [00:54:42]:
Oh, you're admitting that I picked this one?

Lisa [00:54:44]:
Yeah. Because you sent me a message saying, let's do flavored brownies. And I replied back saying, yeah, okay. Thinking, how the hell am I finding pictures of those? And magically, the pictures came. I'm like, girl was in it to win it. Right? You meant it.

Samantha [00:55:01]:
I dug it out.

Lisa [00:55:03]:
You wanted this topic badly.

Samantha [00:55:05]:
I did. I did. But I think we need to first of all mention Haley. Haley asks you know who you are.

Lisa [00:55:14]:
Honorable mention.

Samantha [00:55:15]:
Honorable mention. No, she's like the star of the show today.

Lisa [00:55:18]:
Star of the show.

Samantha [00:55:21]:
She wrote a poem that I'm gonna read to you.

Lisa [00:55:25]:
It was good.

Samantha [00:55:26]:
An ode to kicking the chocolate chip mint brownie to the curb. O chocolate chip mint brownie. Sad affair with flavors clashing in the open air. The mint too sharp, the chocolate bland, a baffling combo so poorly planned. You sat on plates with looks deceiving, a promise sweet, yet tastes misleading. Each bite a struggle, a Fight to chew how we wish for something new Farewell, strange tweet we shan't regret this parting leaves no fondness met May you journey far from here we pray and haunt our taste buds not more. What? Not one more day.

Lisa [00:56:07]:
You think she. Do you think she meant it to be to twist the night before Christmas, or was that just your interpretation?

Samantha [00:56:12]:
I think that was just my interpretation. I'm like, girl, that was some effort. And I don't know if you found that or if you made that.

Lisa [00:56:21]:
Doesn't matter. Doesn't matter.

Samantha [00:56:23]:
It was a classic. The classic response. Thank you.

Lisa [00:56:27]:
Appreciate it.

Samantha [00:56:28]:
Loved it. Yeah, Loved it.

Lisa [00:56:30]:
Totally.

Samantha [00:56:31]:
But no one likes s'mores either, Lisa. And nobody liked pumpkin or strawberry.

Lisa [00:56:35]:
Strawberry sounds disgusting. Well, I told Micah Mike's like, who wants that? I'm. A good point. Nobody does.

Samantha [00:56:43]:
But apparently Andrea and Melody, they were like. And so many others work Brownie purists.

Lisa [00:56:50]:
Yeah, right. Don't mess the. Keep the brownie brownie.

Samantha [00:56:53]:
Keep the brownie brownie.

Lisa [00:56:54]:
The flavor of brownie is brownie.

Samantha [00:56:57]:
Oh, you guys, we really do appreciate it when you join us in our. In our Facebook, you know, extravaganzas every day. And, you know, you keep. If you keep writing interesting stuff, we're going to keep mentioning it, so.

Lisa [00:57:13]:
Totally.

Samantha [00:57:14]:
But, Haley, today you took it. You were the winner. We're going to crown you queen of the Sunday.

Lisa [00:57:21]:
Like, can we. Can we send Haley something special from our new collection?

Samantha [00:57:25]:
Oh, yeah. Yes, we can.

Lisa [00:57:28]:
Haley. Send us your met your. Send us your address.

Samantha [00:57:30]:
That was an extra something.

Lisa [00:57:32]:
So that was an extra something. That's worth a something. That's totally worth a something.

Samantha [00:57:39]:
I get that. That's lovely.

Lisa [00:57:41]:
Yeah.

Samantha [00:57:41]:
Okay. But, guys, hey, don't forget, connect with us on our many social platforms or check out our website, which is ishake my head, pod.com. sign up for newsletters, check out our blog, leave us a message or a voicemail, and stay to listen to any of our episodes. If you want to catch our videos, check out our YouTube page and subscribe to get notified of a new episode. And I believe we have 116 now.

Lisa [00:58:02]:
We do. Samantha, can we go back to the voicemail?

Samantha [00:58:05]:
Sure.

Lisa [00:58:05]:
Friends of the podcast, you know how we're always up for a good challenge. Do you know that Jan Arden podcast gets lots of voicemails? They can do a whole show in voicemails.

Samantha [00:58:15]:
Oh, my God.

Lisa [00:58:17]:
We've had two.

Samantha [00:58:18]:
We've had three.

Lisa [00:58:19]:
We've had three. And we have poor Carrie every now and then asking us how to leave one. And we Keep telling her. Yet she. Yet she does not leave it.

Samantha [00:58:27]:
We don't know why.

Lisa [00:58:29]:
Leave us some voicemails. Ask us some questions. We're trying. We put that feature in there for you.

Samantha [00:58:35]:
Yeah. And we'll put you on. We'll put you in the podcast. So just, you know, remember that.

Lisa [00:58:40]:
Totally.

Samantha [00:58:44]:
Okay. We do have patreon, which is patreon.com ishake my hand. We have updated our Patreon so there are better incentives to join and you'll get more content from us, depending on what tier you sign up for. And some new swag. So check it out. And for the existing Patreons, if you bump up your generous offer of $2 or more, we will send you some new goodies.

Lisa [00:59:03]:
Samantha, you're doing that this week, aren't you? I am.

Samantha [00:59:05]:
For Chrissy, Christina and for Alexandria.

Lisa [00:59:08]:
Yes. And now for Haley.

Samantha [00:59:10]:
And now for Haley, because she put out some effort. That was awesome.

Lisa [00:59:15]:
Girl gets us something.

Samantha [00:59:17]:
She does. If you need some new I shake my head Swag, check out threadless.com and search. I shake my head. We have new and old logos available. And we just want to say thanks again to John Jamingo for editing our podcast each week. We couldn't do it without him.

Lisa [00:59:31]:
Totally couldn't do it without him. And you know what? I'm going to send a little shout out to Sarah Burke, too. Right. Because she's helping us with some audiograms.

Samantha [00:59:38]:
Yes.

Lisa [00:59:39]:
She's cutting and snipping and pasting and.

Samantha [00:59:41]:
Posting and showing us how to do it.

Lisa [00:59:44]:
We're just here to learn. Right? We're just here to learn new things, guys. But let's talk about the fantasy football. Samantha. Well. What?

Samantha [00:59:54]:
The girl won again. What?

Lisa [00:59:56]:
The reigning champ won again. I am.

Samantha [01:00:01]:
I am now six and four.

Lisa [01:00:03]:
I am nine and one. The Duchess lost. Right.

Samantha [01:00:09]:
Okay.

Lisa [01:00:10]:
That just lost. Right. So. So you might be you. I don't know if you can catch her, but I don't.

Samantha [01:00:17]:
I don't think I can.

Lisa [01:00:18]:
But you never know, right? I don't know, John. We're not even keeping track anymore.

Samantha [01:00:22]:
I'm doing well, though.

Lisa [01:00:24]:
You're doing well. You got a ton this week because you got some buys, you know.

Samantha [01:00:28]:
Oh, I gotta go. Look. Don't. I got. But I will say this is that. Don't count me out.

Lisa [01:00:36]:
Don't count you out?

Samantha [01:00:37]:
No, don't count me out.

Lisa [01:00:38]:
Nah, it's.

Samantha [01:00:39]:
I'm figuring it out.

Lisa [01:00:41]:
Right. That's what happened last year.

Samantha [01:00:43]:
I'm not going to win it, but I'm in it. To not suck at the very bottom.

Lisa [01:00:46]:
You can win it. You just got to get into the playoffs, and then it's just different games. Nobody's record matters right now.

Samantha [01:00:52]:
I got to get into the playoffs.

Lisa [01:00:53]:
Got to get to the playoffs.

Samantha [01:00:54]:
So much stress.

Lisa [01:00:55]:
Yeah, I know. It's crazy, but it's going good. Going good.

Samantha [01:00:58]:
Okay, but isn't Dwayne. Is it Dwayne. Dwayne. That's also in our fantasy football.

Lisa [01:01:04]:
I don't think he's doing very good. A. I don't think.

Samantha [01:01:07]:
I don't think I've played him yet.

Lisa [01:01:10]:
I think I did, and I think I won because I've only lost once.

Samantha [01:01:13]:
You've.

Lisa [01:01:15]:
I'm really good. I'm really, really. The word is that I might be Rain Man. I don't know for sure. I'm gonna try and count cards one day and see if I can do it. Okay.

Samantha [01:01:26]:
All right.

Lisa [01:01:27]:
All right. There's your fantasy update, because I know everybody's listening to the end to hear how it's going. I know, right? That's how that. That's how we hook them. That's how we keep them right to the end. Anyway, Samantha, another week. Done.

Samantha [01:01:43]:
Another week.

Lisa [01:01:44]:
Yep. All right. Anything else you want to add?

Samantha [01:01:47]:
No.

Lisa [01:01:48]:
No. Okay. Sprints, the podcast. You can have yourself a great week. Download, subscribe, suggest, pass us on. Trying to raise our profile out there. Samantha, always a pleasure.

Samantha [01:02:01]:
It should be.

Lisa [01:02:11]:
Who's a pretty girl? I'm a pretty girl.