Chaos And Cluelessness

Lisa [00:00:06]:
You know how much I love the gps, right? I use it, I covet it. I totally rely on it.

Samantha [00:00:12]:
Yes. Yes, you do.

Lisa [00:00:14]:
So I'm on my way to the doctor's appointment today, right? I leave home and I realize, oh, I don't have my phone. All I do is rely on the gps, right?

Samantha [00:00:25]:
So.

Lisa [00:00:25]:
So as soon as I get into the car, I always put in the GPS where I gotta go. I don't have my phone, but what do I do? Okay, new day, new me, I guess. Fuck it, I'm not going back home to get my phone. I've been to the doctors a million times. I should be able to figure this out.

Samantha [00:00:40]:
If this was anyone else but you, I would say absolutely, you can get there without a phone and the gps. But this is you. This is you. One, how the hell did you forget your best friend never had before? How did you forget iPhone? And then two, the delusional thought that you could get to your doctor's appointment. That goes across a bridge you only just found out you crossed to get to work, which you cross to get to your doctor's appointment, right? You didn't have enough caffeine today. You were under the assumption that your brain was working, you needed to go. That was a bad idea. It's a bad idea.

Samantha [00:01:28]:
Bad, bad.

Lisa [00:01:29]:
This is what I thought. Actually, Samantha, let me burst your bubble, okay? Give Lisa a little credit. I thought, you know what? I'm an adult. I'm just gonna use my sense of direction, right? So I start.

Samantha [00:01:41]:
I'm sorry, did you just say sense of direction? The person who says, whichever way I'm pointing is always north.

Lisa [00:01:53]:
Yes.

Samantha [00:01:54]:
That is hilarious.

Lisa [00:01:56]:
I get that it was going to be a bit of a challenge, but I felt, I'm an adult, I can do this, right? So here I am, confidently driving, right? Making turns. You would think I'm auditioning for, like, my driver's license. I'm turning so. Well, I got this area. I know where I'm going. I. I'm turning, I'm turning, I'm turning. All of a sudden, fuck, I'm lost.

Lisa [00:02:15]:
I don't know where I am. Nothing looks familiar. Nothing looks like it. Should I keep driving? And then what do I see? Finally, I'm already 15 minutes late. What do I see? McDonald's. Ah, I'm close, I'm close. I'm close. I'm close because it's a landmark.

Samantha [00:02:36]:
Oh, my God.

Lisa [00:02:37]:
Because sometimes after the doctors, if I've had a good doctor's, I go to the McDonald's and I know it's close.

Samantha [00:02:42]:
How many times did you turn?

Lisa [00:02:44]:
Well, I always turn right. Right, right.

Samantha [00:02:48]:
Where, where did you turn?

Lisa [00:02:49]:
Right. Everywhere. Right. So as soon as I think I'm at where I need to turn right, I turn right.

Samantha [00:02:54]:
Did you go.

Lisa [00:02:54]:
And then I turn right. I'm just doing circles, squares.

Samantha [00:02:57]:
Oh my God.

Lisa [00:02:59]:
And then I'm like, hey, this looks familiar. Yeah. Because I've already been there. And then I was like, okay, I can do this, I can figure this out. And I did because there was the McDonald's. I'm like, I'm close because I go.

Samantha [00:03:13]:
To the McDonald's kitty corner from that.

Lisa [00:03:15]:
Right, right. That didn't mean as much to me because oh my God. I don't, I don't go there afterwards. And there's co ops everywhere.

Samantha [00:03:21]:
Because the McDonald's. The other corner holds the doctor's.

Lisa [00:03:25]:
Yes. Right. And I'm like, ah, ding, ding, ding. I know where I am now.

Samantha [00:03:30]:
So you did eventually get there?

Lisa [00:03:32]:
I did eventually. I was about 15 minutes late.

Samantha [00:03:35]:
Uh huh. Did they still kick you in?

Lisa [00:03:37]:
Yeah, because they're always running behind. Right, right. But I'm just. But, but, but I also had to get back home.

Samantha [00:03:45]:
Oh my God. How long did it take you to get home?

Lisa [00:03:49]:
A little bit longer. I don't want to get into that.

Samantha [00:03:52]:
No, you don't.

Lisa [00:03:53]:
I don't want to talk about that.

Samantha [00:03:54]:
No, no, no. Because where did you go? Where'd you end up? Do you even know where you were?

Lisa [00:04:00]:
Because I don't really know where I live.

Samantha [00:04:02]:
How did you get home?

Lisa [00:04:04]:
I eventually figured it out when I was downtown because I know where I live. From downtown. Right.

Samantha [00:04:15]:
Oh my God.

Lisa [00:04:16]:
Yeah.

Samantha [00:04:16]:
Then I know how far away you were from your actual home.

Lisa [00:04:20]:
Yeah. So I went to the downtown, to the Earls and then all the way.

Samantha [00:04:24]:
Home because that's how we. Oh my God.

Lisa [00:04:27]:
Because that's how we go home.

Samantha [00:04:29]:
So how did you get from. From essentially University Heights.

Lisa [00:04:33]:
Yeah.

Samantha [00:04:34]:
To downtown. Cuz did you take the highway to get there?

Lisa [00:04:38]:
Do you think I must go through.

Samantha [00:04:39]:
Sutherland to get there?

Lisa [00:04:40]:
No, I don't know that way at all. I was.

Samantha [00:04:42]:
How did you not know that when you work on the one street that the highway that if you went that way.

Lisa [00:04:50]:
Because I don't know these things.

Samantha [00:04:51]:
And instead of going this way, which would take you on a bit of a trajectory, I don't know how you got downtown from there because there was so many opportunities to not go the way you went.

Lisa [00:05:03]:
To not go the way I went. I figured that out when I got Home and pulled it up on the gps.

Samantha [00:05:08]:
Did you learn a lesson from this, Lisa?

Lisa [00:05:11]:
Yeah. Don't forget your phone. Totally. God, I've never done that before.

Samantha [00:05:15]:
Samantha, I don't know how you left your home without your phone.

Lisa [00:05:20]:
Oh. And then I thought, oh, I was running a few minutes late, and I'm just like, oh, it's fine. Everybody does it. I can get there. I can't get there.

Samantha [00:05:28]:
And. And the.

Lisa [00:05:29]:
The.

Samantha [00:05:29]:
The funny thing is, is that nobody could come save you because you didn't have your phone.

Lisa [00:05:34]:
I can't get in touch with anybody. Right. Right. Welcome to my world.

Samantha [00:05:41]:
Oh, my God.

Lisa [00:05:43]:
It's like I say, it's not always easy being Lisa.

Samantha [00:05:46]:
No, because you have no. Like, again, I have to say to you, one, how'd you live this long? Two, you don't know you very well.

Lisa [00:05:57]:
Well, I feel I do know me well. And then I forget.

Samantha [00:06:00]:
No, but not really. No, but not really. No, you don't. Because you should have known getting into the car, the two minutes or five minutes it took for you to realize you didn't have your phone. You should have just turned around and come back because you got direction. You have no sense of. I don't even know how you got out of where you live.

Lisa [00:06:20]:
I don't know how you got area. I know the road. I know the road. Right. The problem is. This is the problem with me, friends of the podcast, is I think I can do it. And then in my mind, I have myself totally believing I can do this till I start doing it, and then I can't do it. It's not good.

Lisa [00:06:42]:
It's not good.

Samantha [00:06:42]:
It is not good.

Lisa [00:06:44]:
It's not good. Sorry. It's not good.

Samantha [00:06:48]:
Oh, my God. I am. I am, like, one, laughing at you. And then two, a little bit like, you know, feeling.

Lisa [00:06:54]:
Feeling a little bad for me.

Samantha [00:06:56]:
Feeling a little bit, like, panicked for you, actually.

Lisa [00:07:01]:
Right? Crazy old lady lost on her own.

Samantha [00:07:04]:
Oh, my God. Don't ever do that again.

Lisa [00:07:07]:
Right? Oh, it's like I need a dummy string for my bone.

Samantha [00:07:12]:
We can probably find you something, Lisa. We can probably find you something.

Lisa [00:07:16]:
At least I got where I got. At least I got there and back. And here I am.

Samantha [00:07:19]:
Thank God. Oh, my God. I don't know how we would have found you, because you would still be driving.

Lisa [00:07:28]:
I'd still be missing. I would. Because you know me. Something's up. Kind of looks familiar, right? Problem is, is that when you keep turning right, you just keep going back, so it does eventually look familiar.

Samantha [00:07:38]:
Stop turning right. Like why would you ever think that turning right is the best decision that can make?

Lisa [00:07:45]:
It just seems easier than turning left. Less work turning right than turning left. Right.

Samantha [00:07:49]:
Of course.

Lisa [00:07:49]:
Easier.

Samantha [00:07:52]:
Oh, my God.

Lisa [00:07:54]:
Okay. Like, my goodness.

Samantha [00:07:56]:
Stop. Don't ever do that again.

Lisa [00:07:58]:
I'm going to try not to ever have that happen again.

Samantha [00:08:01]:
Bad idea. It's a bad idea.

Lisa [00:08:02]:
Best part of it, though, is that nobody had to worry because nobody knew where I was. Right. So I didn't. Nobody was worrying about. Nobody was panicking.

Samantha [00:08:11]:
Not quite yet. Until you had. If you hadn't shown up for supper.

Lisa [00:08:17]:
Might have started to worry.

Samantha [00:08:18]:
Yeah, he might have started to worry. Maybe potentially.

Lisa [00:08:22]:
But you might have. Then maybe. I don't know.

Samantha [00:08:25]:
Okay, let's just get to it. Lisa.

Lisa [00:08:27]:
I just needed to share.

Samantha [00:08:29]:
Okay. Welcome to another episode of I Shake My Head with Lisa and Sam.

Lisa [00:08:34]:
Hello, friends of the podcast.

Samantha [00:08:36]:
Hello.

Lisa [00:08:38]:
We're probably all shaking their head.

Samantha [00:08:40]:
Yes, they are.

Lisa [00:08:43]:
I can't help. That's just how I roll. It's how I roll.

Samantha [00:08:46]:
I know. Well, if you love what you hear, please download, subscribe, and share with a friend and leave a review if you have a moment.

Lisa [00:08:54]:
Perfect. That would be wonderful. Right? That's what we're loving.

Samantha [00:08:57]:
We're loving that Lisa loves feedback.

Lisa [00:09:00]:
I love feedback. Just positive, if possible, please. If it's negative, just put the pen down. Don't. Don't become a warrior at the type. At the keyboard. It's not needed. Right? It's not needed.

Lisa [00:09:13]:
Okay. But you know what is needed? We need to work this out. This came up on Friday night, and I wasn't really thrilled with your attitude. So I think. So I think we just need to debrief because I felt that you were kind of out of line. Friends of the podcast, Samantha says to me, as we're just having an adult discussion, boy, you complain a lot. And I replied back saying, I don't think I complain a lot. I'm just trying to work things out.

Samantha [00:09:42]:
And then I came back with, you work out a lot of things a lot of the time.

Lisa [00:09:46]:
Right? And I'm. I don't think I'm a complainer.

Samantha [00:09:50]:
I think you are.

Lisa [00:09:52]:
I don't think I am. I think I'm a worker. Work it out, talk it.

Samantha [00:09:55]:
No, you're not a worker outer. No, you're not.

Lisa [00:09:57]:
I'm a worker.

Samantha [00:09:57]:
No, I'm a worker outer. You. You. This is what. This is what's happening. You throw things at other people. You hope your worry sticks to them because you don't want to take it on so you throw it to other people and you're like. And I'm.

Samantha [00:10:12]:
And I look at you and I'm like, why would I have an answer for that? I don't know any more about this than you do. And you're like, but you're supposed to help me. Blah, blah. And I looked at you and I said, you complain a lot.

Lisa [00:10:23]:
I'm like, you're my friend. I'm supposed. And you're my friend. I'm supposed to be able to work through these things with you.

Samantha [00:10:28]:
And there are times that we work through things, and there are times that I think you complain a lot.

Lisa [00:10:34]:
I'm gonna. I'm gonna. I'm gonna. I'm gonna beg to differ. I'm gonna totally beg to differ on that. I don't think it's right. It's not. That's not true.

Samantha [00:10:44]:
Are you speechless? That would be.

Lisa [00:10:46]:
No, I. I'm trying not to get angry with you. That's what it is. Oh, yeah? Yeah. Because I don't think I complain. You bring your things to me and I just listen as you work them out. Right. You say I complain because you get tired of hearing my things.

Samantha [00:11:06]:
You know what it is? It's because you're talking about the same shit all the time.

Lisa [00:11:11]:
All the time.

Samantha [00:11:12]:
I don't have any more answers than I had the last hundred times you asked me.

Lisa [00:11:16]:
And I'm going to keep asking because one day. Maybe you don't.

Samantha [00:11:19]:
I don't. But I don't.

Lisa [00:11:21]:
Maybe you. But you know what? I'm asking. So start researching and see if you.

Samantha [00:11:24]:
Come up with some stuff. I have no desire to do that.

Lisa [00:11:26]:
Help a friend out, help a friend out, help yourself out about.

Samantha [00:11:29]:
Isn't that what we're all supposed to do is we're supposed to help each help ourselves out? Like we're supposed to go searching for the answers, right? If it's really big, you should seek therapy.

Lisa [00:11:38]:
No, no, you go searching for the answers, and then if it's really big and you can't figure it out, you go to your best friend or slams the door on your face and says, shut up.

Samantha [00:11:48]:
Or here's another thought. Have a glass of wine.

Lisa [00:11:53]:
Well, that does usually make things a little bit better.

Samantha [00:11:55]:
Right? There you go. Let's just ease it in. Let's just figure it out. Throw that glass of wine at you. Do you feel better now? Why, yes, I do. Excellent. Problem solved.

Lisa [00:12:06]:
See? There you go. Till the next time, right? Till the next time.

Samantha [00:12:11]:
So, friends. Friends of the podcast. I'm sure that you have friends that complain a lot too.

Lisa [00:12:16]:
I cannot be the only one trying to work through some stuff. Right. How? Whatever way you want to look at it. Right.

Samantha [00:12:22]:
I'm just working through some stuff.

Lisa [00:12:24]:
Or are you complaining or are you just working through your stuff? Just working through my stuff. Thank you.

Samantha [00:12:32]:
All right, Lisa.

Lisa [00:12:33]:
All right, Samantha. Big smarty pants.

Samantha [00:12:39]:
Actually, you were the smarty pants. It was pretty. It was pretty ingenious of you. I'm gonna. I'm gonna. I'm gonna give you a little bit of credit here.

Lisa [00:12:48]:
Right. You gotta paint this picture. Paint the picture.

Samantha [00:12:51]:
We're driving to our destination on Friday. As you know, we go for supper, few drinks, because that's what you need on a Friday after a work week, right? And we're driving by the restaurant we're going to. We're looking for a parking spot, and all of a sudden, Lisa points. Ooh, tassels.

Lisa [00:13:13]:
A lady was getting out of her vehicle, and she had on tassel boots.

Samantha [00:13:18]:
Tass boots. And then. And I only caught, like, a quick glance at the tassel boots.

Lisa [00:13:26]:
I saw the tassels.

Samantha [00:13:27]:
Yeah. Because I was worried about just getting a parking spot. And then all of a sudden, it.

Lisa [00:13:31]:
Was Pink Pony Club, I'm gonna wear my tassels. At the Pink Pony Club. I'm gonna wear my tassels.

Samantha [00:13:42]:
Oh, my God. And then that's all we could sing.

Lisa [00:13:46]:
Friends of the podcast. This lady got out of her car with so much authority.

Samantha [00:13:50]:
Yes.

Lisa [00:13:50]:
And this suede tassel boat, boat boot. Just tasseling in the wind.

Samantha [00:13:54]:
Tassel, tassels.

Lisa [00:13:56]:
It was so funny. Like, that boot, as far as I know, walked right out of 1980. Right. It's like the Dallas cheerleaders want their go, go boot back.

Samantha [00:14:07]:
The beauty of it is, is that she was wearing black leggings with that tan colored tassel boot.

Lisa [00:14:13]:
With a tassel boot.

Samantha [00:14:14]:
And I was like, yes, of course it would be a legging.

Lisa [00:14:17]:
That's it, right? So then, friends of the podcast, we walk into the set establishment. So we have our little laugh as we're walking, but we're singing this song the whole way, right? Pink Pony Club, I'm gonna wear my tassels.

Samantha [00:14:32]:
That's the Pink Pony Club.

Lisa [00:14:33]:
So we're like. We're laughing as we walk into the establishment, and, oh, there's tassels sitting right there. And like, oh, stop. Better stop singing. Better stop singing.

Samantha [00:14:47]:
Oh, my God.

Lisa [00:14:49]:
It was the craziest thing, right?

Samantha [00:14:50]:
I don't know. Maybe it had to be there because we were laughing hysterically.

Lisa [00:14:55]:
But you know what? You didn't have to be there for. This is what I need to share with people. So we're waiting for our table and Sam's like, we'll take that one. Somebody just needs to clean. It wasn't rude or anything like that. Right. Just pointing out where we wanted to sit. Well, the young, the young girls did not love the fact that, that she asserted herself that way.

Lisa [00:15:13]:
So we sat down on the bench and we were waiting. And it was very obvious that these kids, because that's what we're going to call them, were not very pleased with us.

Samantha [00:15:21]:
No.

Lisa [00:15:22]:
And I didn't even have to look at Sam. The one girl comes and I guess the new look or the dress code is a black loafer and like a white sweatsock.

Samantha [00:15:32]:
Yes.

Lisa [00:15:33]:
And not just sitting beside Sam. Don't even have to look at her. I see this girl walk. This is how judgmental we are. I see this girl walk and I just poke Sam's leg and I'm like, don't, don't, don't look, don't look. And Sam's like, I don't even have a look. You have a look. I can tell you have a look just from your just.

Lisa [00:15:52]:
I just know you have a look, and right now you're just staring at it. Stop Staring at.

Samantha [00:15:58]:
Was horrendous because not only was she wearing black loafers and a white sock, which reminds me of the 50s or the 60s, like, no offense to that, but she was wearing wide leg, black flowy pants that are more of an ankle pant or like. No, it was, it was even higher than that. It was like a cropped pant. And I'm like, weird girlfriend, this is not the look for you. Why are you wearing a long white sock? Like, could you not have worn like a crew sock? A little bobby sock?

Lisa [00:16:27]:
Like, so she was the, she was the first one. And then, you know, you just kind of chalked it up to just like whatever. And then two more come with the exact same. It's like, oh God, it must be a dress code.

Samantha [00:16:36]:
I'm like, yeah, it's a dress code.

Lisa [00:16:38]:
It's a dress code. It's totally a dress code.

Samantha [00:16:41]:
Dress code.

Lisa [00:16:42]:
Oh my God. Here's two 55, 56 year old women just judging these 20 plus something kids.

Samantha [00:16:49]:
And then the girl who basically, I told you you need to go clean some tables, chop chop. She. She's like, you seat them. And I'm like, ooh, even a little.

Lisa [00:16:59]:
Bit of snot, got a little bit sass.

Samantha [00:17:01]:
Look at you, little girl, at your little hostess job, right?

Lisa [00:17:05]:
Not loving us. Whatever.

Samantha [00:17:07]:
I don't care.

Lisa [00:17:08]:
You know what? When you go into a place and you see. And they say, oh, no, those. There's no seats. But yet you see that it's just because they're dirty. And it's not her job to do it. Well, somebody needs to do it. So guess what? I know whose job it's not. It's not ours.

Lisa [00:17:21]:
Right?

Samantha [00:17:22]:
Well, I think it was, because I pointed it out that they enjoy that.

Lisa [00:17:26]:
Probably, right? Probably.

Samantha [00:17:28]:
And I'm like, well, actually, you do. You have two tables. Two. Two tables right there.

Lisa [00:17:33]:
Looks.

Samantha [00:17:34]:
Take a minute to clean.

Lisa [00:17:35]:
And I'm like, which it did not take. It did not take a minute.

Samantha [00:17:38]:
No. And I'm like, that's okay. We'll wait.

Lisa [00:17:40]:
Yeah. And then we just sat there and judged socks, right? We're horrible. We're horrible.

Samantha [00:17:48]:
Oh, yeah. But that was a fun Friday.

Lisa [00:17:51]:
That was fun.

Samantha [00:17:51]:
Tassels and white socks everywhere, Right?

Lisa [00:17:54]:
Right. Pink Pony Club. I'm gonna wear my tassels.

Samantha [00:17:59]:
Bunny Club. It's gonna stay in your mind, people.

Lisa [00:18:02]:
Forever. Forever, Right? You needed to see it. It was the best. And to me, I just saw it. And boom. That's how quick this mind can work. It's scary. Scary, right? Good times.

Lisa [00:18:15]:
Hey, Samantha.

Samantha [00:18:16]:
Yes, but you know. You know, your. Your good friends or best friends, when all you have to do is go. And you see it, and you see my side, my. My line.

Lisa [00:18:26]:
Barely outside, looking out of sight, looking.

Samantha [00:18:28]:
Looking at the sock, and you're like, shut up. Like, that seems unfair.

Lisa [00:18:34]:
It's like when I. Hi. It's like when I walked into that bathroom at. At was it. I don't know, wherever we were at.

Samantha [00:18:39]:
We were at Sass Place, right?

Lisa [00:18:42]:
At some event. And I walked into the bathroom with you, and I didn't even say anything, and I was already getting in trouble.

Samantha [00:18:48]:
I'm like, you shut up.

Lisa [00:18:50]:
I was like, already getting scolded. I'm like. I haven't even said it yet. You're like, yeah.

Samantha [00:18:55]:
Don't you dare.

Lisa [00:18:56]:
Right? That's what friendship is. Yes.

Samantha [00:19:00]:
That people. Right there. True friendship right there.

Lisa [00:19:04]:
Right. Right there. Just call each other out on your shit.

Samantha [00:19:08]:
That singing a sensual song. Pink Pony Club.

Lisa [00:19:11]:
Apparently, that's what we needed at the end of last week. Apparently, right? Apparently, that's. That tassel boot just. Oh, it did so much.

Samantha [00:19:19]:
Oh, my God. It lifted my spirits. I'm not. I'm not gonna lie.

Lisa [00:19:22]:
That lady will never know the joy she brought. I hope that. That tassel boot brings her as much joy as it brought me. Oh, God, that's so funny. Hey. Okay, but you know what, though? Here's something I was shaking my head at the other day. My new thing is I'm loving a bowl of Cheerios at bedtime. Like a little bedtime snack, right? Like a little nighttime snack.

Samantha [00:19:46]:
You've switched from toast and peanut butter. Oh, peanut butter died. That's right.

Lisa [00:19:51]:
Peanut butter died, remember? Right. So I'm doing. So I'm doing Cheerios with a very little bit of milk because I don't like sogginess and Splenda because I like sweet. Right? So, you know, no comment, please. However. So I'm trying to eat healthy cereals. Right. A little bit before bed.

Lisa [00:20:08]:
Just something to tie me over. But this is what I'm shaking my head at, Samantha. I'm watching the commercials. I'm shaking my head at healthy cereals, like the Cheerios that introduce unhealthy flavors. Cheerios just released a new flavor. Cookies and cream.

Samantha [00:20:26]:
How are they making that healthy?

Lisa [00:20:28]:
It can't be. Right? So aren't you defeating the whole part? The whole point of Cheerios, which is. And the Cheerio is a little heart because it's good for your heart. Right. And now it's cookies and cream. Keep the healthy separate from the treat cereal.

Samantha [00:20:45]:
So healthy. Healthy cereal needs to have boring flavors, right?

Lisa [00:20:48]:
Like Special K and. And like. And pretty much that's it. Special K, Bran, Raisin Bran and Cheerios, maybe Rice Krispies, maybe. But not really because it becomes a treat. Oh, that's right. And then, like. And then your novelty flavors, just keep them as.

Lisa [00:21:04]:
That don't mask cookies and cream as. As a. As a good. Good for you cereal.

Samantha [00:21:09]:
Is this just really about you and change again?

Lisa [00:21:11]:
Well, I don't like change. Right, Right. I was trying to explain to somebody the other day, I don't like. It's not that I don't like change, Samantha. I don't like forced change. I'm fine if I'm making the change. I don't like it when somebody's telling me that the change is being made. Right.

Lisa [00:21:27]:
If I'm making the change, that's okay. So. So it's really not fair to say I don't like change because I'm okay with change as long as I'm making the change.

Samantha [00:21:35]:
Change.

Lisa [00:21:36]:
Right. Could be a control issue. I don't know.

Samantha [00:21:38]:
Okay.

Lisa [00:21:39]:
Right. I just don't like. I don't like forced change.

Samantha [00:21:42]:
I don't think anybody does.

Lisa [00:21:44]:
So I'm just saying that's what I don't love about change.

Samantha [00:21:47]:
Can I just point out the fact that nobody's asking you to buy cookies and cream? Cheerios.

Lisa [00:21:51]:
I know, but I don't think it needs to be an option. Right? I'm trying to eat healthy. I've switched to Cheerios so I can be healthy. And now you bring this into it.

Samantha [00:22:00]:
So ultimately they don't care if you eat it, though.

Lisa [00:22:03]:
You're trying to sabotage me.

Samantha [00:22:06]:
Right?

Lisa [00:22:07]:
You have to get me. Do you have Cheerios? You have to get me. You have to get a girl who's just trying to eat healthy. It's a heart. It's a heart cereal for my heart. Right. On the box it says heart mom, heart dad, heart sister. Because it's family.

Lisa [00:22:23]:
Good for your heart.

Samantha [00:22:24]:
Oh, my God.

Lisa [00:22:25]:
And now it's cookies and cream. Please. I take exception to that.

Samantha [00:22:29]:
Oh, you ain't having none of that.

Lisa [00:22:31]:
I ain't having none of that. Right. If I'm forced to eat healthy cereal, it's just gotta stay healthy and then.

Samantha [00:22:38]:
Just add a lot of Splenda.

Lisa [00:22:39]:
But that's fine. There's no calories.

Samantha [00:22:42]:
It's still sugar.

Lisa [00:22:43]:
It's zero calories. It's not. It's near sugar. It's fake sugar, but it just is sweet like sugar.

Samantha [00:22:50]:
Yes. I'm sure the really great.

Lisa [00:22:52]:
We're never gonna agree on Splenda, so let's not go there. We're never going to. Right? It's not new.

Samantha [00:23:01]:
That's true. We are never going to agree, Samantha.

Lisa [00:23:04]:
In our eight years. Because you know what? Happy anniversary. We just finished our. We're in our eighth year now.

Samantha [00:23:09]:
That's right.

Lisa [00:23:09]:
We are just. This episode is. Is our inaugurational eight year anniversary. If that even made sense. I don't think it did.

Samantha [00:23:17]:
I don't think it did, actually.

Lisa [00:23:18]:
I don't know. I had a lot going on in my head with it.

Samantha [00:23:20]:
Right.

Lisa [00:23:20]:
Hi. I got lost today. I was traumatized. I was a missing child for a while. Right. Because no matter how old you are, if you're missing, you're still missing. Right? You're still missing, you're still lost.

Samantha [00:23:34]:
That's why you were so silent on your phone for hours.

Lisa [00:23:39]:
I didn't have it. Not one message from you, though, saying, hey, how's it going?

Samantha [00:23:44]:
No, because I was working. That's what people do during the day. Oh, my God.

Lisa [00:23:49]:
Right. And I was off because I had an appointment. Yes. Okay. All right. But happy eighth anniversary.

Samantha [00:23:55]:
Happy anniversary.

Lisa [00:23:57]:
Here's to eight more.

Samantha [00:24:02]:
And we're like, sure, sure, sure.

Lisa [00:24:05]:
We'll just go one year at a time now.

Samantha [00:24:06]:
How about now? We're just going to do one year at a time.

Lisa [00:24:10]:
We're going to renew it for year nine. And we've re. We've renewed. We'll see what happens.

Samantha [00:24:17]:
Stay tuned, folks.

Lisa [00:24:18]:
Right. You never know. Like, what if ridiculous things stop happening to us? Kind of a boring podcast.

Samantha [00:24:22]:
I doubt it. God, I hope there's more tassels in our life.

Lisa [00:24:25]:
Right?

Samantha [00:24:26]:
Please.

Lisa [00:24:26]:
I hope I'm wearing them one day.

Samantha [00:24:29]:
That would just not be good.

Lisa [00:24:31]:
That would be weird.

Samantha [00:24:32]:
That would be wrong.

Lisa [00:24:34]:
Right? Be really wrong.

Samantha [00:24:37]:
Okay. I was watching tv and I, I, I have it. I have. And I shake my head based on American Idol.

Lisa [00:24:43]:
What? Okay, be careful, right? Because it's near and dear to me right now.

Samantha [00:24:45]:
No, I don't give a American Idol. Okay. So I was only half baked watching American Idol and the Voice in between both. And I'm like, okay, you kind of still suck, but whatever. So I did happen to catch some the other day, and apparently the Backstreet Boy's son, which I can't remember his name.

Lisa [00:25:09]:
Bailey Littrell.

Samantha [00:25:10]:
Yes. Sorry. K. Bailey. They let that horribly sounding band boy son through to the top 24 when the girl that was singing with him was way better.

Lisa [00:25:24]:
Yeah. And the two country guys were even better. And they didn't even get to go.

Samantha [00:25:28]:
They didn't get through.

Lisa [00:25:29]:
Right.

Samantha [00:25:29]:
And I'm like, what is happening?

Lisa [00:25:32]:
Yeah, we watched it.

Samantha [00:25:33]:
What is happening?

Lisa [00:25:34]:
There's some weird. There's some weirdness going on. So.

Samantha [00:25:37]:
And that's what I'm like. So you pick him. He can't hold a tune and he's.

Lisa [00:25:43]:
And he's scared.

Samantha [00:25:44]:
He can't hold a tune. He's all like. And I'm like, dude, shave the stash. You look ridiculous.

Lisa [00:25:51]:
Because he. And he's watery. He was watery looking. Right?

Samantha [00:25:55]:
And I was just like, that's it. You only did it for the ratings. You did it. And I'm pissed. I'm so pissed that that kid got through. I don't care who you're attached to. If you can't sing, we're. You should not be going to the top 24.

Samantha [00:26:09]:
But it's odd, the whole point.

Lisa [00:26:10]:
Yeah, but it's odd because they didn't let Carney Wilson's kid go through.

Samantha [00:26:16]:
Really?

Lisa [00:26:16]:
No. Wilson Phillips kid didn't make it. They cut her. Yeah, but. But she was not that good.

Samantha [00:26:22]:
Well, neither is the other kid.

Lisa [00:26:24]:
Neither is he.

Samantha [00:26:25]:
No. Because he needs to go get some Singing lessons.

Lisa [00:26:28]:
Yeah. And I don't know. Dear. The dear, dear young boys who insist on pretending that you can grow stuff on your face. Don't grow until you can. Don't grow it.

Samantha [00:26:37]:
And if you can never grow it, you don't have it. A face that doesn't do that.

Lisa [00:26:40]:
Like, it just looks, like, swarmy. Hey.

Samantha [00:26:43]:
He. He looked. I don't know.

Lisa [00:26:45]:
It's not a good look.

Samantha [00:26:46]:
I just was, like, pissed. And then so I saw that, and I was like, you let him through. And then the two country guys sang together, and I thought they did really well, and they didn't pick either one of them. And I'm like, not even, like, the deep baritone guy?

Lisa [00:26:58]:
No, because they already have 15. Take it to church gospel singers, you know? You know how I feel about that, too, right? I get it. Bring in a couple. But there's too many of them.

Samantha [00:27:09]:
Like, I was just pissed, and I'm like.

Lisa [00:27:11]:
And everybody's voice, it's funny. And I know I can't hold a note, but I like to. Everybody's voice sounds like. As though they're, like, the lead singer from Sugar Land and they're all singing with their gum on their teeth. Right. Like, why? Oh, not you, too. And you, too. And you, too.

Lisa [00:27:27]:
Right?

Samantha [00:27:29]:
And here we are, not knowing how to sing a lick, but we just know what we like. We know what. What sounds good.

Lisa [00:27:36]:
Right? And it's not. It wasn't a lot of them.

Samantha [00:27:39]:
It was not. And then the voice started getting weird, and they started picking people. I thought, you should not be keeping them. I'm like, that's it. I'm done.

Lisa [00:27:46]:
That's it. I'm done. It was. I'm not done. Because Gibsons were in it to win it now.

Samantha [00:27:50]:
Yeah, I know.

Lisa [00:27:51]:
There are. There's nothing else to watch on Sundays.

Samantha [00:27:53]:
Well, I'm just shaking my head at that. Yeah. American Idol. I'm dumb at you.

Lisa [00:27:58]:
Fair enough. You know what? We talked about this before, but it reared its head again in a magazine article that I saw online. I don't want to talk again about the period panty. Right.

Samantha [00:28:12]:
Again. Do we have to?

Lisa [00:28:13]:
Yeah, because I want to know if the period panty is going to work the same way that the pea panty is going to work, because the period panty. Because that's our age, right? Pee pads, period pants, or we're past period panties, but we're moving into pee pads and pea panties. Right. Because we're, like, mid-50s. Okay? So the period panty claims that it can hold the equivalent of 12 super tampons.

Samantha [00:28:36]:
That's so squishy.

Lisa [00:28:38]:
That's so squishy. And. And a lot. Hey, it's a. That's like. Like, that should be. That's your. That's your whole period.

Samantha [00:28:46]:
I don't know what anybody else so long experience is like, but when I was having to wear super tampons and sometimes there it was. The flow was horrible because you get to a certain age and all of a sudden shit's happening.

Lisa [00:29:01]:
Right. Like, do you. Yuck.

Samantha [00:29:06]:
Do you want. Between your.

Lisa [00:29:09]:
No legs. However. Okay. However.

Samantha [00:29:13]:
Like, does it absorb? I. I'm. I have.

Lisa [00:29:15]:
So it might absorb, but. It might absorb, but some part of that panty has to get heavy.

Samantha [00:29:21]:
Well, it can't be good.

Lisa [00:29:23]:
It has to get heavy.

Samantha [00:29:25]:
Like, are you wearing. So obviously you're wearing it all day.

Lisa [00:29:30]:
Well.

Samantha [00:29:31]:
And then do you switch it out for a new pair when you go to bed?

Lisa [00:29:34]:
Okay, well, I don't know about you, but I'll tell you in one day. I certainly never went through 12 super tampons. That's days and days of them.

Samantha [00:29:45]:
Oh, my God. We're just reliving. We're. I'm like. I'm having flashbacks of like. Oh, my God.

Lisa [00:29:52]:
Yeah. And that. But then I think, however, if that same technology is used for the pee pad, we might be okay with that.

Samantha [00:30:01]:
Yeah, but then you're just sitting in moist again. Like, it's just, like, it's just. There's so wrong.

Lisa [00:30:08]:
Yeah, right. It's like. It's like we don't keep the babies in their Pampers for that long.

Samantha [00:30:12]:
We know. And I mean, and really, if you're gonna. Okay, but you know what. Are they using the same technology for baby diapers as they. Like, are they taking that technology from baby diapers and using it in the women's underwear?

Lisa [00:30:25]:
I don't know, but that would make sense because you don't keep your babies.

Samantha [00:30:29]:
Moisture wicking baby diapers.

Lisa [00:30:31]:
I know, but you don't keep your babies in those diapers all day.

Samantha [00:30:34]:
I know, but even. Yeah, but you have. Babies are really heavy when they peed a lot.

Lisa [00:30:39]:
That's gross. Right? Well, and then they think, belly, so will we.

Samantha [00:30:44]:
So.

Lisa [00:30:44]:
Okay, so will the period panty will also get smelly.

Samantha [00:30:48]:
This is not going to end well.

Lisa [00:30:51]:
So. So what's the smell that you would rather have the smell of your period or the smell of pee?

Samantha [00:30:57]:
Neither.

Lisa [00:30:58]:
Okay, but you got to pick one.

Samantha [00:31:00]:
Well, where are the sprays that everybody's making the full head to toe body spray. Can you Just not have something here.

Lisa [00:31:09]:
There should be.

Samantha [00:31:10]:
Grandma, you're 95, but you smell like pee spray, right?

Lisa [00:31:13]:
Just here, here, here, here's grandma's spray. Well, probably we should be. I don't know. I'm just wondering. I like, like, is it a. Is that where we're going?

Samantha [00:31:23]:
We're for sure. But I'm just thinking how. How long do you want someone to sit in their weather that you peed in? All day.

Lisa [00:31:32]:
Right?

Samantha [00:31:33]:
Like, I don't know, multiple times in a day.

Lisa [00:31:35]:
Right. Like when we were kids and peed our pants, everything came off real quick. Yes, but we didn't. We didn't. We didn't keep those panties on.

Samantha [00:31:43]:
Stinky. Stinky.

Lisa [00:31:44]:
We were not walking around being stinky. And I don't know. I don't know if the technology's there. So it worries me, as we approach our senior years, if we're gonna walk around smelling like pee.

Samantha [00:31:55]:
Well, you know what? I'm gonna work really hard on learning how to be able to go to the bathroom until, like, the very end.

Lisa [00:32:02]:
Well, good luck. Because I tell you, I almost was looking forward to some pee panties. Not yet. Like, not too long ago. I'm like, enough already. God, I haven't had a sip of liquid. Where is the pee coming from?

Samantha [00:32:14]:
Yes, but you have to remember, if you feel like you have to pee, you should go pee.

Lisa [00:32:19]:
That's my husband's advice. Yeah, but many don't have the urge. No, I. I don't. I wait. And then. And then I'm like running. I'm like, panic sets in, right?

Samantha [00:32:28]:
And then you're like, don't pee, don't.

Lisa [00:32:30]:
Pee, don't pee, don't pee, don't pee, don't pee, don't pee, don't pee, don't pee. Right? And then I'm closing the bathroom stall, and I'm not worried if I lock it. I'm just trying to close it. Cause I'm trying to get the button undone. There's so many steps, so much that can go wrong quickly. Hey, it's crazy. So I don't know. I'm just saying, right.

Samantha [00:32:47]:
I think this is just leading into your insecurities around peeing so well. And this is why you keep bringing it up.

Lisa [00:32:54]:
I have to wrap my brain around it because at some point in the not too far off future, we're going to be peeing in our pants. Right?

Samantha [00:33:05]:
Just something forward to.

Lisa [00:33:06]:
It's funny. They make peer. They make period panties. And on the commercials, they're like, you can't Even tell. I love these. These are the best. I've never seen a poise pad commercial talk like that. I've never seen a pull up commercial talk like that.

Lisa [00:33:19]:
Seniors, we're not talking like that.

Samantha [00:33:22]:
No.

Lisa [00:33:23]:
Right. Because we know it's nasty.

Samantha [00:33:24]:
It's not great.

Lisa [00:33:26]:
Right? Oh, what are you doing? Peeing. Imagine you and I out on a Friday night having supper. Oh. I'll be like, oh. And you'll be like, oh, did you just pee in my pants? Because I'm wearing them and they say I can.

Samantha [00:33:39]:
Don't you ever do that to me. Don't you ever do that to me.

Lisa [00:33:43]:
Hey, Samantha, guess what I just did? What? Peed.

Samantha [00:33:47]:
I do not need to know that.

Lisa [00:33:49]:
Oh, but that's where we're going.

Samantha [00:33:51]:
I really don't.

Lisa [00:33:52]:
That's where we're headed.

Samantha [00:33:53]:
But we don't need to know that.

Lisa [00:33:54]:
It's a fear. And why should we be ashamed of it?

Samantha [00:33:57]:
It's bad enough we pee in the.

Lisa [00:33:59]:
Lake when we go to the lake, remember? But for the years we never peed in the lake, I never peed in the lake, remember? We're always going inside to the bathroom. HHG still won't pee in the lake. Right.

Samantha [00:34:10]:
Something wrong with it.

Lisa [00:34:11]:
Oh, it's so obvious at the lake. When all of a sudden, oh, I just need a quick dip. Everybody knows in and out. Does it just a quick. Right. Because it's just the fish. The fish are right. Right.

Samantha [00:34:25]:
Okay, but let's move on from peeing because we always talk about peeing or pooping. Like, what is wrong?

Lisa [00:34:32]:
Because we're in our. We're in our mid-50s. In 15 years, we're probably 75 almost.

Samantha [00:34:38]:
Oh, my God.

Lisa [00:34:40]:
Right? Okay, if it's 75. If we hit 75. We've been peeing and pooping and having these issues for 10 years by then.

Samantha [00:34:49]:
Good God, I hope not.

Lisa [00:34:50]:
We're not far. We're not far. Just nobody. Nobody talks about it. Yeah, you keep saying yourself.

Samantha [00:34:55]:
Keep it to yourself. Keep it to yourself.

Lisa [00:34:57]:
Right. Why should we have to be embarrassed?

Samantha [00:35:01]:
I don't need to know.

Lisa [00:35:02]:
Well, you probably will know though.

Samantha [00:35:05]:
Yes, unfortunately. Okay, so I'm gonna tell a story. And it features Lisa. It features Lisa.

Lisa [00:35:15]:
Kind hearted Lisa.

Samantha [00:35:17]:
No, stupid Lisa. Lisa. This is a story of Lisa being too trusting and eager to believe as random strange strangers want to give us money.

Lisa [00:35:33]:
I'm like, for sure. Sure you can.

Samantha [00:35:37]:
So I get a text message yesterday, and it's this caption of like people talking. And I'm like, where is this from? This is a tick tock. Why are we taking money from a stranger?

Lisa [00:35:51]:
Why is the stranger wants to give it to us?

Samantha [00:35:53]:
Yeah, we don't take money from strangers. How did you grow up? So I'm like, don't do anything. And you're like, but. And I'm like, no.

Lisa [00:36:07]:
Always a party pooper.

Samantha [00:36:08]:
Yes. Because they got very eager for our information. Right. And then I shut them down as I can do.

Lisa [00:36:17]:
You did Because. And then we never heard from her again.

Samantha [00:36:20]:
Right. Because it's a scam.

Lisa [00:36:22]:
Well, I'm just saying.

Samantha [00:36:23]:
Because all I had to do, Lisa, was go to the Google. Google.

Lisa [00:36:28]:
Hey.

Samantha [00:36:29]:
Scam. Asking. Asking information and giving. Wanting to give money on TikTok. Is this a scam? Oh, boop.

Lisa [00:36:36]:
Bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop. Fine. Okay. I'm trusting me.

Samantha [00:36:42]:
No, it's not.

Lisa [00:36:44]:
I'm always excited when people want to give money.

Samantha [00:36:47]:
You're like, you always rain on my parade.

Lisa [00:36:49]:
Always. You rain on my parade.

Samantha [00:36:50]:
Worst. Yes, I actually do. And I have gotten this far in my life from trusting my instincts. If something looks too good, it is too good. So. No, you don't. And I'm. And then I had to go.

Samantha [00:37:04]:
And then I had to. What did I have to tell you, Lisa? Never give out any personal information ever to a stranger over the Internet. Like I'm your mother.

Lisa [00:37:16]:
Right, exactly.

Samantha [00:37:17]:
I had to remind you of the basic rules, which is don't talk to strangers.

Lisa [00:37:22]:
Right.

Samantha [00:37:23]:
Walk away from strangers.

Lisa [00:37:25]:
Don't go in the back of the van. Don't go in the back of the van just because they say they have cute puppies.

Samantha [00:37:29]:
Don't take a lollipop from a stranger.

Lisa [00:37:32]:
Like, I would totally take that lollipop.

Samantha [00:37:34]:
Yes, you would. Yes you would.

Lisa [00:37:36]:
I would. I'd be like, thank you.

Samantha [00:37:37]:
This is really outing Lisa totally.

Lisa [00:37:41]:
Right? Just. Just kind hearted Lisa thinking there's just not enough kindness in the world. How wonderful is that?

Samantha [00:37:47]:
And it.

Lisa [00:37:48]:
Can I send you some money? Yes, you can. No, I asked her, I said, why do you want to do that? And she said, her mom died of COVID and she wants to share the. She wants to share.

Samantha [00:37:57]:
That makes no sense. Sense.

Lisa [00:37:59]:
Well, it did to me because it was first.

Samantha [00:38:02]:
First they wanted PayPal information, then they wanted to E transfer. And I'm like, well, this is somebody who's in Canada, apparently, because you don't do that in the States.

Lisa [00:38:10]:
Interesting. I didn't.

Samantha [00:38:11]:
They don't have E transfer in the States.

Lisa [00:38:13]:
Okay.

Samantha [00:38:13]:
And then it was like. And before we could even answer that last one, they're like, just drop your email. And I'm like, you are way too eager.

Lisa [00:38:22]:
Yeah. So I'm squashed like a bug.

Samantha [00:38:24]:
Nope.

Lisa [00:38:25]:
And we didn't get the money.

Samantha [00:38:26]:
Nope. And what did I. No, I didn't. I said we were not comfortable taking money this way. However, if you would like to participate, you can go to our patreon, gave them the information, said, thanks for thinking of us.

Lisa [00:38:39]:
Yeah. She did not go.

Samantha [00:38:41]:
And then that person never heard from again.

Lisa [00:38:43]:
She did not go. Maybe she's going tomorrow. I hope. Maybe on payday. She's going, right? I don't know. I don't know.

Samantha [00:38:50]:
Because don't trust strangers on the Internet.

Lisa [00:38:55]:
This is the trouble I get myself into. Friends of the podcast. But I gotta share a story. Okay. You know, I love turtles. I think turtles are cool. Hey, but you know what's not cool about this story? I feel there. I think it happened in Philadelphia.

Lisa [00:39:14]:
There's a 97 year old tortoise just had her first set of babies. And the baby daddy, he's 96. Dear God, put these animals out their misery.

Samantha [00:39:27]:
They live for hundreds of years, Lisa.

Lisa [00:39:30]:
They're a hundred years old having babies. Why are they living so long?

Samantha [00:39:36]:
Hundreds of years.

Lisa [00:39:37]:
Why are they living so long?

Samantha [00:39:39]:
Because they're tortoises.

Lisa [00:39:40]:
Yeah, but what, what's the life of a tortoise look like?

Samantha [00:39:43]:
Like hundreds of years. They can live for a really long time.

Lisa [00:39:47]:
It seemed really long. It's. You know what? I don't want to be forced to have babies at 97 years old. Tell you that right now. Shut for business. Clothes for the season.

Samantha [00:39:57]:
This is Handmaid's Tale, right?

Lisa [00:40:00]:
I'm not having any part of that. Right. Baby daddy's 96. Look at you all. Baby daddy. Hi. Go find another tortoise. Go find a.

Lisa [00:40:10]:
No, first both of you just retire. Right?

Samantha [00:40:14]:
Well, they're living in a zoo, so I, I think their lives are pretty much, you know, pretty chill.

Lisa [00:40:19]:
They had four little baby tortoises. They did hatchlings and they were super cute, but not at the expense of a 97 year old tortoise. I think she's okay if I'm 97 and I get knocked up so pissed.

Samantha [00:40:33]:
There. There have been stories of a woman, she was in her 70s, she didn't realize she was having a baby until she was in labor.

Lisa [00:40:40]:
Be so mad. So mad. It's. It's stories like that that make me say, shut it down now. Shut it down.

Samantha [00:40:49]:
Wrap it up. Tie it up.

Lisa [00:40:52]:
Story Right. Cut it off. Whatever you need to do, keep it away. Right?

Samantha [00:40:59]:
Oh, my God.

Lisa [00:41:00]:
Right now. Just your pleasure, for one. Just saying I felt bad for that turtle.

Samantha [00:41:10]:
I'm sure you did.

Lisa [00:41:11]:
Yeah, I totally did.

Samantha [00:41:12]:
Okay, I do need to share something that I saw. And I'm like, oh, my God, I hope so many more people saw it.

Lisa [00:41:18]:
I saw it.

Samantha [00:41:19]:
I saw a naked. A very naked Marquez Waylos.

Lisa [00:41:24]:
That was nice.

Samantha [00:41:25]:
It was for. It was. It was an ad for Stuart Weitzman. I'm like, this is an ad for shoes and clothing, right? Oh, my God. It was a naked Mark Consuelos. All he had was, well, good looking body and a smile on his face. And I'm like, right, Nothing.

Lisa [00:41:45]:
There's nothing wrong there.

Samantha [00:41:46]:
Nothing wrong with Marcus. Nothing at all.

Lisa [00:41:50]:
Nothing. Nothing but a smile on this whole face.

Samantha [00:41:53]:
Those were some pretty damn good looking pictures.

Lisa [00:41:56]:
He is. He is a fine looking specimen.

Samantha [00:41:59]:
Friends of the podcast, go check.

Lisa [00:42:01]:
Google it.

Samantha [00:42:02]:
Google it.

Lisa [00:42:03]:
Totally worth the Google.

Samantha [00:42:04]:
And I'm like, kelly Ripa, you got a fine looking man.

Lisa [00:42:09]:
You go, girl. And he's aging better as he gets older, too.

Samantha [00:42:13]:
He's totally getting better.

Lisa [00:42:15]:
Yeah, totally. 100. Totally. Right? 100. Go check it out, guys.

Samantha [00:42:20]:
Oh, my God. I was just like, put. Lift your chin, right? Close your mouth.

Lisa [00:42:25]:
Get the fan, get the fan.

Samantha [00:42:28]:
And I'm like, right. Oh, my God. And then in one picture, he's. He's smiling that beautiful smile that he has.

Lisa [00:42:35]:
Yeah.

Samantha [00:42:35]:
Oh, my God. And I'm just like, stuart Weitzman, you are going to sell a lot of. To girls who have guys who need to wear your stuff.

Lisa [00:42:44]:
Right, Right. Every guy needs to wear that stuff to look like that.

Samantha [00:42:47]:
Oh, my God.

Lisa [00:42:48]:
Right? And. And you know what the beauty is, is that he's 50, so I don't even feel like that we're being dirty old women.

Samantha [00:42:53]:
No, he's like 52, 53.

Lisa [00:42:57]:
No, I think he just had his 50th birthday.

Samantha [00:42:59]:
Did he. Is he younger than Kelly? Yeah, because Kelly's 52.

Lisa [00:43:04]:
I think I. Well, I go, maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I just saw that he had a birthday. Maybe they're the same age.

Samantha [00:43:09]:
I don't know. I feel like they're close to the same age.

Lisa [00:43:12]:
I just know that they're similar age to us, which means we can ogle. We can. Totally, Right? Totally. Right? Yeah.

Samantha [00:43:21]:
Well, sorry. Just had to. Just had to. Had to share that because, you know.

Lisa [00:43:26]:
It'S a good share. It's a. It's a good share. Here's something interesting, though. Okay. Gen Z now, I don't know what age Gen Z is. I'm thinking it's like 18, 19, 20 now. Oh, okay, maybe.

Lisa [00:43:38]:
I don't know, apparently. And because we all know Gen Z kids, right? Your nephew's probably my niece and nephew.

Samantha [00:43:45]:
Yeah.

Lisa [00:43:46]:
Apparently they avoid going to the clubs. The reason they don't go to the club, Samantha, is because of social anxiety. And you know what it stems from? Not necessarily because they were Covid kids and didn't meet a lot of people. It stems from everything being caught on camera. And this is. You know what? And I got thinking about that and I'm like, you know what? I don't know if 20 year old Lisa would have loved being filmed all the time at the club. I feel. Not to say there probably isn't pictures out there somewhere that I'm sure at some point could come out and haunt me.

Lisa [00:44:17]:
I'm just saying. Right. I don't know if that would be what I would be excited about either.

Samantha [00:44:22]:
No, I wouldn't be excited about that either.

Lisa [00:44:24]:
Right.

Samantha [00:44:25]:
Because everybody got their phone, everybody's taking pictures, everybody's videoing everything, everybody's content.

Lisa [00:44:31]:
Totally. Right. Looking at, oh, look at her throwing up. Picture, picture, picture, picture. Right? Oh, like you would see it all. So I think it's giving them anxiety, which I totally get.

Samantha [00:44:41]:
Huh?

Lisa [00:44:42]:
Yeah. Kind of weird.

Samantha [00:44:43]:
Hey, all right.

Lisa [00:44:45]:
Yeah, I thought it was kind of weird, but I'm.

Samantha [00:44:46]:
That is weird.

Lisa [00:44:47]:
I get it. But you know what, dear? Kids still go to the clubs. Right?

Samantha [00:44:51]:
Or else we won't have clubs to go to.

Lisa [00:44:53]:
Right? There won't be clubs. And you know what, going to the clubs was a lot of fun. Right. But I don't know, different time. Different time. But speaking of the clubs, speaking of the clubs got me thinking about shooters.

Samantha [00:45:07]:
Like shooters as an alcoholic shooter.

Lisa [00:45:10]:
Yeah, right. Like sometimes we'll have a shooter.

Samantha [00:45:12]:
Uh huh.

Lisa [00:45:13]:
Right. But then the weird thing with shooters, it seems that they're either so sickening sweet but yummy or they're out to kill you. Right. And then I thought, who names these things? Like there's a shooter called the Slippery Nipple.

Samantha [00:45:28]:
Yeah.

Lisa [00:45:29]:
Who? Why are we naming things that I don't know? And where do we determine what that taste is?

Samantha [00:45:36]:
Good question.

Lisa [00:45:37]:
Right. And like some like, like, like, like there's a muff dive. Like these are just some weird names that I don't know if I'm interested in participating in.

Samantha [00:45:49]:
What exactly is in a muff dive?

Lisa [00:45:51]:
Do you know what is in a muff dive?

Samantha [00:45:53]:
What is. What is in a Muff dive.

Lisa [00:45:54]:
It's got to be whipped cream.

Samantha [00:45:57]:
Is there hair on it? Because I don't know. That seems weird.

Lisa [00:46:02]:
It seems slippery nipple.

Samantha [00:46:05]:
Is there a nipple attached to it?

Lisa [00:46:06]:
Like, like is it just.

Samantha [00:46:07]:
Are you granular through some kind of plastic nipple thing?

Lisa [00:46:11]:
Right. Like a shot of tequila. I know what I'm in for.

Samantha [00:46:14]:
Coconut tequila is coconut tequila.

Lisa [00:46:16]:
Right.

Samantha [00:46:16]:
With a side of lime.

Lisa [00:46:18]:
Right. What about member? People used to always do back in our day. Remember the Prairie Fire?

Samantha [00:46:22]:
Oh, God, that was horrible. Because that had to.

Lisa [00:46:25]:
That's just kill you, that guy. That. That guy's only meant to make you throw up. That's his whole role.

Samantha [00:46:33]:
I don't remember the shot, but it was a shot of. Oh, God, was it whiskey? You dropped it in a beer and you drank.

Lisa [00:46:40]:
Oh, like a Jagermeister or something.

Samantha [00:46:42]:
No, not a Jaeger bomb.

Lisa [00:46:43]:
Not that.

Samantha [00:46:44]:
Was it a Jaeger bomb? Oh, it might have been a Jaeger bomb. Oh, I hated Jaeger. My stomach was disgusting.

Lisa [00:46:49]:
But I remember something you'd drop it into like a pop or a beer.

Samantha [00:46:52]:
No, a beer.

Lisa [00:46:53]:
A beer.

Samantha [00:46:54]:
I can't remember what that was though.

Lisa [00:46:56]:
I don't know.

Samantha [00:46:56]:
And then all of a sudden I had a flashback to the Texas Tea where it used to be a roller rink and then it became a country bar and everybody went there. And you went there on Tuesdays because it was cheap beer night because you could get a beer for a buck and then you would drink so much beer for a dollar and. And you would dance with people you didn't know.

Lisa [00:47:15]:
But then you wish you attacked.

Samantha [00:47:18]:
It was packed.

Lisa [00:47:20]:
Packed.

Samantha [00:47:20]:
And you still went to work the next day. You still went to work the next day, right? Didn't matter.

Lisa [00:47:25]:
Didn't matter. Didn't matter that I just got home in time to change my shirt. Didn't matter. We used to do that all summer at Wasega Beach. Dear, my dear. My friends from Wasaga beach, right? The Edwards Variety crew and others that worked at that main end. Oh my God. We.

Lisa [00:47:40]:
We took Sundays off because that felt like the right thing to do, right from drinking every single night we were out. And we would. We. And we partied and partied and we'd have to work 12 hours at the job the next day. No air conditioning. 125 degrees inside a hot, stinky old building. And you come, you'd be hung. You'd just be dying.

Lisa [00:48:03]:
Like you'd be so. Like you just be. But you'd be there because you didn't dare not go there. Yeah, right.

Samantha [00:48:09]:
For sure.

Lisa [00:48:09]:
Oh my God, those were the days. Now kids, kids, they. They take a sick day for being hungover. I know.

Samantha [00:48:14]:
And I'm like, oh, don't be a fan.

Lisa [00:48:16]:
Yeah, you're fine. You're fine. Right?

Samantha [00:48:18]:
You're fine. And no offense, but if you're going to drink the night before, you have to work.

Lisa [00:48:24]:
Yeah.

Samantha [00:48:25]:
Just grow the cojones that you need to totally go to your job.

Lisa [00:48:29]:
Right.

Samantha [00:48:30]:
Then don't drink. Then don't go out. If you're going out and getting drunk, you should not be. You should not be saying to your.

Lisa [00:48:36]:
Employer, for sure, I'll be there tomorrow, see you tomorrow. Right.

Samantha [00:48:39]:
You should not. You should just be honest and say, you know what? I'm going to get so drunk that I'm going to have to. I'm going to take tomorrow off.

Lisa [00:48:46]:
I mean, use a vacation day.

Samantha [00:48:47]:
I'm going to use vacation.

Lisa [00:48:48]:
Right. And then we're going to call you a pussy. Right. Because back in our day, we just went to work.

Samantha [00:48:54]:
Oh, my God.

Lisa [00:48:55]:
Right?

Samantha [00:48:55]:
So, so, so many, so many late.

Lisa [00:48:59]:
Nights, it didn't even matter. And. And when did you catch up in your sleep? You didn't.

Samantha [00:49:03]:
You didn't.

Lisa [00:49:04]:
You didn't. That's why we're tired now at 55.

Samantha [00:49:06]:
And 56, because our bodies are like.

Lisa [00:49:08]:
Because when I was 22, I never slept for four years. Right. We didn't sleep, but it was fun.

Samantha [00:49:15]:
Because if it was, it was the Texas Tea on Tuesdays. It was. Oh, my God.

Lisa [00:49:20]:
What?

Samantha [00:49:20]:
Where did we go? We went to. Is it Bloody Mary or. No, something Mary on a Wednesday night or a Friday night. Like there was. Every night of the night there was a bar that had something going and that's where you would go.

Lisa [00:49:35]:
Totally.

Samantha [00:49:35]:
And it's like, well, I can't go to the te. Because I got to do this, but I'll catch you up on Wednesday or Thursday.

Lisa [00:49:40]:
Oh, yeah. It didn't matter, right? We didn't just wait till Friday.

Samantha [00:49:42]:
No. We never waited to Friday. Like, it was bumping on a Tuesday. Let me tell you.

Lisa [00:49:48]:
It didn't matter. And off you went so much.

Samantha [00:49:53]:
You know what? And not. It was just like everybody was having fun. Nobody gave a. You just danced, you partied, you had a good time.

Lisa [00:50:01]:
Had a good time.

Samantha [00:50:02]:
Some.

Lisa [00:50:02]:
Like. Yeah. You just had fun. Yeah, right.

Samantha [00:50:05]:
Oh, my God. I remember when I worked at the Saskatoon in here, and I was working at the. At the restaurant. We would close the restaurant. Everybody that was working would head over to Esmeralda's because you could get in the back door because you were an employee, so you didn't have to wait in line. And we would go and we drank till we closed and then drive home.

Lisa [00:50:23]:
Drink after you closed, and go to work.

Samantha [00:50:27]:
Oh, my God. So much fun.

Lisa [00:50:28]:
Right?

Samantha [00:50:29]:
Actually, you know what? I recommend this. And we don't have young people, but if you do want to have fun as a young person, you should go work at a hotel that has a bar.

Lisa [00:50:39]:
Oh, go work with hotel people. Yeah.

Samantha [00:50:42]:
Or better yet, go and work at like, like. Like a Wasaga beach. Yeah, I went working out in the mountains.

Lisa [00:50:49]:
Like a tourist area.

Samantha [00:50:50]:
Like a tourist area you should go to.

Lisa [00:50:51]:
Like, fun.

Samantha [00:50:52]:
So much fun.

Lisa [00:50:53]:
So fun. Right? Even when I was in university, my buddy Suzanne and I, we would go on a Saturday at noon and we go downtown where it was super cheap, and, like, the band would just be practicing. You'd play your VLTs and you drink your, like, crappy old whiskey out of, like, dirty cups. You didn't care. Like, they were horrible places. We didn't even care.

Samantha [00:51:15]:
Yeah.

Lisa [00:51:16]:
Didn't even care. Right. Because you could be there at noon.

Samantha [00:51:18]:
Yeah. And I just remember Thursdays was the pat.

Lisa [00:51:21]:
Oh, okay.

Samantha [00:51:22]:
And they tore that down.

Lisa [00:51:24]:
Huh? Interesting.

Samantha [00:51:25]:
And the TXT has been torn down for a really long time.

Lisa [00:51:27]:
And so now we have a whole generation, a whole club or Gen Z, not even going out.

Samantha [00:51:33]:
You guys are missing out.

Lisa [00:51:34]:
You're missing out. You gotta go out, guys. You gotta go out.

Samantha [00:51:37]:
You gots to go.

Lisa [00:51:38]:
You gotta experience it.

Samantha [00:51:40]:
It's so much fun.

Lisa [00:51:41]:
Too fun. Too crazy. Crazy.

Samantha [00:51:44]:
Okay, new favorite obsession.

Lisa [00:51:47]:
Okay.

Samantha [00:51:48]:
Never, never would have thought that this would be my favorite new obsession. But it's this tiny little British kid called. I know this guy, and it's Cooking with Carter. And he. I don't even know how old he's. He looks like he's five.

Lisa [00:52:04]:
Yeah, he'd be around five. I would put him.

Samantha [00:52:06]:
Oh, my God. And he talks in his little British accent. I'm going to make chocolate potatoes and cheese and beans.

Lisa [00:52:12]:
And I'm like, oh, my God, Ginger boy.

Samantha [00:52:14]:
Yes. And I'm like, I'm staying for this. So I watched him bake his potato. His dad helped him a little bit, and he's warming up the cheese, and he's like, cheese, cheese, cheese, cheese, cheese. And I'm like. I'm like. By the end of it, I was like, I love this kid. I need to follow this kid.

Samantha [00:52:30]:
And now I wait to watch for his videos because he is adorable.

Lisa [00:52:35]:
And his parents are so helpful. Right? So his parents do all the heavy lifting yeah. Right. And he. He uses, like. He, like, doesn't use real knives, but it's like. It's like a. Like a plastic knife, but it's all kid proof.

Lisa [00:52:45]:
But it's. It's so. It's so interesting.

Samantha [00:52:47]:
He makes me want to put. Get a jack of potato and cheese and beans, like, right. I'm like, this kid is so adorable. And then he did a. I saw him do a poutine one. And then just recently, I saw him do yogurt and mangoes and blueberries, and he's like, delicious. And I'm like, you make me so happy. Why are you making me so happy?

Lisa [00:53:11]:
Yeah. Follow him on Instagram, everybody.

Samantha [00:53:13]:
You guys should. He is just a bucket of sunshine.

Lisa [00:53:16]:
Yeah. He really is. He totally is. He's. He's a lot of joy. He. He's a lot.

Samantha [00:53:22]:
Yes, he is. So much joy.

Lisa [00:53:24]:
Yeah. Which is awesome.

Samantha [00:53:26]:
Sometimes when you just need it. I think now that's what I'm gonna do. If I need a little pick me up, I'm just gonna go find him and.

Lisa [00:53:32]:
Right.

Samantha [00:53:32]:
Watch a little video from.

Lisa [00:53:34]:
He'll pick me up. That's what you need.

Samantha [00:53:37]:
You know what he is? He's infectious.

Lisa [00:53:39]:
Yeah. I would say that. I would give you that for sure.

Samantha [00:53:41]:
Joy of just the. This thing that he's doing.

Lisa [00:53:44]:
Yeah, he's just. He's very joyful. He's very joyful. So I had some extra joy in my life the other day.

Samantha [00:53:51]:
Oh.

Lisa [00:53:52]:
I was going through probably. It was the TikTok and. No, not the TikTok, the Instagram. And it's made its way to the Facebook. Trying to keep up with the trends. Right. You know me, always trying to keep up with the trends, Samantha. Because there's always the pressure to stay, to stay up with the trends.

Lisa [00:54:07]:
Right. Guess what brought me joy. Guess what's back? My China shoe. It's. It's all the rage again.

Samantha [00:54:17]:
And I'm like, it's called Toms. I recognize the picture that you sent me.

Lisa [00:54:22]:
Right. I'm like, that's my China shoe, and I still have it. I didn't wear it for a whole year because I felt it was not in style anymore. It's back, and now it's. And now it's back. So excited. Right?

Samantha [00:54:35]:
Oh, my God.

Lisa [00:54:36]:
So excited. Right?

Samantha [00:54:39]:
I'm happy for you.

Lisa [00:54:40]:
I know there's a couple of there. I think there's a new color I want to get.

Samantha [00:54:43]:
Oh, and where.

Lisa [00:54:44]:
I know.

Samantha [00:54:44]:
Where are these shoes? Are you ordering them online again?

Lisa [00:54:47]:
Well, yeah, I got them, though. Remember, I got them. They came.

Samantha [00:54:50]:
Yeah, I know, but you never got the water bottle, right?

Lisa [00:54:53]:
I didn't get the water bottle. I didn't. There's lots. There's lots of stuff I haven't gotten. But I got the shoes.

Samantha [00:54:58]:
Oh, my God. There's more than just the water bottle.

Lisa [00:55:02]:
I'm sure that there's been more than just a water bottle. Oh, but I got the shoes, so I'm gonna. I better start. I'm gonna bust those bad boys back out.

Samantha [00:55:09]:
Okay, off you go. Ankles, here we come.

Lisa [00:55:12]:
Here we come. As I said to Mike, he's like, they're so white, your ankles. I'm like, but they're gonna be like this till I'm hopefully done at the lake.

Samantha [00:55:19]:
So you could be white till July, right?

Lisa [00:55:23]:
April, white feet. May, June, white feet. They're all. They're gonna just be white feet until they get chocolate brown.

Samantha [00:55:30]:
No. And then till you burn.

Lisa [00:55:32]:
Well, I have to be careful with my feet, right?

Samantha [00:55:34]:
Yes. They're very sensitive now.

Lisa [00:55:37]:
You have to. They're tender. They're tender.

Samantha [00:55:42]:
Well, I'm very glad that you're. Your China shoe is back.

Lisa [00:55:46]:
Back on trend.

Samantha [00:55:47]:
It's called a tom shoe. Like, that's a brand, by the way.

Lisa [00:55:50]:
Yeah. So that's not quite my shoe, but it's. But that's one of the brands. Yes, that looks like it. They've copied my shoe. Yes, they have. Yeah, they've copied my shoe.

Samantha [00:55:59]:
Oh, my God. Okay, so we did talk about pee, but now we're going to talk about.

Lisa [00:56:04]:
Constipation, because it's not a podcast unless we talk about poop.

Samantha [00:56:10]:
Because I came across an a way to fix it, Lisa, for you, because you say that sometimes that happens.

Lisa [00:56:17]:
I don't really get constipated, but sometimes I just don't poop very good.

Samantha [00:56:20]:
Okay, so apparently blowing bubbles teaches your abdominal. Your wall.

Lisa [00:56:28]:
Okay. My abdomen.

Samantha [00:56:30]:
Thank you.

Lisa [00:56:31]:
My abdominal wall.

Samantha [00:56:32]:
Thank you. And pelvic floor to work together in a way that helps encourage a bowel movement to happen.

Lisa [00:56:37]:
So I think part of our problem is because we don't. We haven't really had to use our pelvic floo floors because we didn't have babies. Right. So we have a. We have, like, a faulty pelvic floor to start off with. Right. It doesn't know what to do.

Samantha [00:56:48]:
Is that founded in any kind of scientific proof?

Lisa [00:56:52]:
Disproof. Yeah.

Samantha [00:56:54]:
Don't point at your head because you got lost today. You almost got lost today. So don't point at your head.

Lisa [00:57:01]:
Fine. I'M just saying, right? We. We. We have not put our pelvic floor to the test.

Samantha [00:57:07]:
And you know what? I'm kind of happy that I didn't.

Lisa [00:57:10]:
Totally happy. So you're saying like, bubbles, like, like, like those bubbles?

Samantha [00:57:15]:
I would say, like. Yeah, like. Like blowing bubbles into like.

Lisa [00:57:21]:
Like a glass of milk, maybe water with a straw.

Samantha [00:57:25]:
Just the idea of blowing a bubble, maybe.

Lisa [00:57:27]:
I don't want to do that.

Samantha [00:57:28]:
All right, then don't.

Lisa [00:57:29]:
But it's going to help. It's going to encourage my bowels, apparently. I don't know. I feel that my pelvic floor is not ready for that. Okay.

Samantha [00:57:37]:
All right.

Lisa [00:57:37]:
That's all I'm gonna say. But thank you. Right.

Samantha [00:57:41]:
Just thought I'd be helpful.

Lisa [00:57:43]:
Well, you try it.

Samantha [00:57:45]:
This is one of the things you complain about, so. See, I do care.

Lisa [00:57:51]:
Just trying to help your bowel. That's a true friend right there.

Samantha [00:57:56]:
If only she'll just stop complaining.

Lisa [00:57:58]:
Right. Or I'll just work it through. Work it out. I'm just going to work it out. Right. That's all. Okay, listen, I'm shaking my head. I got another I shake my head this week.

Samantha [00:58:05]:
Okay.

Lisa [00:58:05]:
I'm shaking my head. I have issues with companies that drop the ball and don't contact you to let you know that they've screwed up. Instead, I have to contact them. I had a doordash thing again.

Samantha [00:58:19]:
Oh, no.

Lisa [00:58:20]:
Right. Like, like, right. And if you schedule something between two and three, you expect it. You kind of put your life on hold for that time period. Right. Because you know you're expecting something. And then they message you at 4:15 to say, sorry, we're running late. You're not running late.

Lisa [00:58:42]:
Right. Because I'm at home now, not able to get your delivery because you didn't come. Then they tell me that they're going to deliver it today at 9am so at 10:30 I'm on the phone, just curious, just wondering. Well, we're just getting to it now. I shake my head at companies like that because why am I phoning you? Right.

Samantha [00:59:05]:
What are you door dashing?

Lisa [00:59:07]:
Well, some supplies through for work.

Samantha [00:59:10]:
Oh, I see. Right.

Lisa [00:59:13]:
Okay. And. Yeah. And it drives me crazy. It's like anything, right. Why am I contacting you? To find out why you're. Why. Why you're not on time.

Samantha [00:59:26]:
True. Because they should be contacting you.

Lisa [00:59:27]:
They should be contacting me saying, sorry, we've hit a snag. We've got a problem, Somebody's sick, whatever. I don't care what your excuse is. Just some common courtesy would be nice. Right? Huh? That's all I want to say about that.

Samantha [00:59:39]:
I shake my head at that as well.

Lisa [00:59:41]:
I shake my head at that. Right.

Samantha [00:59:42]:
It's annoying.

Lisa [00:59:43]:
Shake my head. Yeah, totally. I hate that.

Samantha [00:59:47]:
Get it together.

Lisa [00:59:48]:
Be, just be courteous. Right. Don't do that to a person because Lisa's.

Samantha [00:59:56]:
Lisa is the on time person. And if you're not on time, she's.

Lisa [01:00:00]:
Like, I take it personal. You do? Why do you think your time's more valuable than my time? Right. Always am curious about that. That's my number one most curious question. Why do you think your time is more valuable than my time? Yeah, it's. Yeah, right. I have things to do too, you know?

Samantha [01:00:26]:
Oh, God.

Lisa [01:00:27]:
Oh, Samantha.

Samantha [01:00:28]:
I love when you break that one out. And I'm like, oh, this is a road you do not want to go down. You will not win.

Lisa [01:00:34]:
You will not win because I'm not stopping it. Right? I'm not stopping.

Samantha [01:00:41]:
Oh, God. Oh, yes. Okay, so I, I do need to mention this, but when you make a sandwich, do you butter your sandwich? Totally.

Lisa [01:00:56]:
Butter.

Samantha [01:00:56]:
Butter on your sandwich.

Lisa [01:00:57]:
Butter or margarine? Absolutely I do.

Samantha [01:00:59]:
Why would you do that?

Lisa [01:01:00]:
Because it makes it not stale, I think.

Samantha [01:01:05]:
Really?

Lisa [01:01:06]:
Yeah. You don't butter your sandwich?

Samantha [01:01:08]:
No, I don't. Because I'm using like mayo or mustard.

Lisa [01:01:12]:
I use it all. I want it all.

Samantha [01:01:13]:
Something to that.

Lisa [01:01:14]:
Really? Yes. I feel this has to be a question for a Sunday.

Samantha [01:01:19]:
Do we Butter? Always Bread.

Lisa [01:01:21]:
If I'm buttering, if I'm having it on a bun, I butter. If I'm having it on a bread, I butter different.

Samantha [01:01:26]:
I would butter a bun, but I would not butter bread.

Lisa [01:01:29]:
Why is it different?

Samantha [01:01:30]:
I have no idea. I cannot explain that to you still.

Lisa [01:01:34]:
From the bread family. I know you're not allowed to have things like that. That's my explanation to things. It's different. Like you don't get to just be as different. It's different. I am. It's different.

Lisa [01:01:47]:
You're. You've got reasons why that's not right.

Samantha [01:01:50]:
No. In this particular realm, I do not. I, I, I actually just had two homemade buns for my mother who, she gave them to me the other day and I, I ate them with some soup that she made and I had to put Bissell margarine on the buns.

Lisa [01:02:07]:
But not.

Samantha [01:02:08]:
I did not eat that bun without. I don't eat buns without butter.

Lisa [01:02:13]:
Yes, weird.

Samantha [01:02:14]:
But bread, no. If it's on a sandwich. Not needed.

Lisa [01:02:17]:
No needed.

Samantha [01:02:18]:
Totally not needed.

Lisa [01:02:19]:
Totally needed. No Unless it's.

Samantha [01:02:22]:
Unless it's toasted. If it's toasted, then I will butter.

Lisa [01:02:24]:
Oh, my God. It has to be toasted. It needs to be buttered for sure. But it's buttered no matter what. No, totally. 100. We're gonna. We're gonna.

Lisa [01:02:32]:
We're gonna debate this. We're gonna. We're gonna throw this at the Friends of the podcast Sunday. Stay tuned. You can all weigh in, please.

Samantha [01:02:42]:
It's such a big question.

Lisa [01:02:44]:
Totally. Right? You know what else I was curious about? The Cobb salad.

Samantha [01:02:51]:
You get a little fixated.

Lisa [01:02:53]:
Love the Cobb salad because everything comes with it. Your egg, your cheese, your ham, your turkey, your lettuce, your dressing. It's all that God needs you to have right there.

Samantha [01:03:03]:
Bacon and corn. All of it.

Lisa [01:03:06]:
All of it. And I feel that it doesn't get the respect it deserves. People poo poo the Cobb salad, and.

Samantha [01:03:12]:
I don't understand why they should not poo poo.

Lisa [01:03:14]:
It don't. It's all things. It is.

Samantha [01:03:17]:
It is the best salad. It has all salads in it.

Lisa [01:03:20]:
Best salad ever. Cobb, right? Probably the original cob. Right? I don't know what cob means, but. Right.

Samantha [01:03:28]:
I have no idea.

Lisa [01:03:29]:
Right. It means everything. All of God's goodness. Right. That's what that means. That's God's salad. God's saying, here's everything for you. All you need.

Lisa [01:03:40]:
Yeah.

Samantha [01:03:40]:
If you have to eat salad, have everything on it.

Lisa [01:03:42]:
Have everything on it. Including the deviled egg. The. Sorry. The hard boiled egg.

Samantha [01:03:47]:
Hard boiled egg.

Lisa [01:03:48]:
It's not deviled because there's no mayonnaise on it.

Samantha [01:03:50]:
No.

Lisa [01:03:51]:
Right. But the hard boiled egg and the. And the julienne strips of ham. Right.

Samantha [01:03:58]:
And the turkey.

Lisa [01:03:59]:
It's a meal in itself.

Samantha [01:04:01]:
Crumbled bacon.

Lisa [01:04:02]:
Oh, Like. Like you only need the cob. People re like, relook at your salad choices, please. Summer's coming. We're going. I'm not letting it go. Not letting it go. I feel I'm doing God's work right now.

Samantha [01:04:15]:
Oh, my God. You know what I feel like now? I feel hungry for a Cobb salad.

Lisa [01:04:19]:
Right?

Samantha [01:04:20]:
That's hilarious.

Lisa [01:04:21]:
Because it's a meal. It's a meal, Right? So I'm just saying, right. I'm doing God's work. I'm not letting it go.

Samantha [01:04:27]:
Then, Lisa, I feel like in the summertime, as soon as it starts to get warmer, we're sitting on the patio, right?

Lisa [01:04:32]:
We're gonna Cobb salad it up.

Samantha [01:04:34]:
We're gonna Cobb salad you up, man.

Lisa [01:04:36]:
And what type of salad Would you like the cob? The cob. The Cobb salad, please.

Samantha [01:04:40]:
You know, I like a good chicken Caesar salad on a Sunday, right?

Lisa [01:04:45]:
Chicken sees a salad.

Samantha [01:04:46]:
Chicken sees a salad, Right? Yeah, but it's not banana.

Lisa [01:04:50]:
Chicken, banana, Banana. Chicken, banana. Yeah. That's so good, right? Or what's. What's the other one that I sent you? And I sent it to Mike and. Chicken wing, chicken wing, chicken wing, chicken wing. Hot dog and bologna. Chicken and macaroni.

Lisa [01:05:09]:
Mike Gibson laughs so hard. And I'm like. He's like, can you send that to me? I'm like, oh, my God, that's hilarious, right? Because he doesn't like. He's not that guy. Right? Chicken wing, chicken wing, chicken wing, chicken wing. Right? Hot dog and bologna, chicken and macaroni. I'm like. And the caption, friends says me every night after 10 as I've tried not to snack, right? And then it's got this little animal, like, it looks like, I don't know, like a.

Lisa [01:05:38]:
Like some sort of a hog. And he's like, chicken wing, chicken wing. It's the best, right?

Samantha [01:05:45]:
It's the best.

Lisa [01:05:46]:
That's my cooking with Carter right there. Is that that. Yes, right? That's how that rolls.

Samantha [01:05:51]:
Oh, my God. We have officially lost our minds.

Lisa [01:05:54]:
We lost our mind.

Samantha [01:05:55]:
The simplest things. People are making us laugh.

Lisa [01:05:58]:
Right? Right. Pink Pony Club. I'm gonna wear my tassels at the Pink Pony Club.

Samantha [01:06:07]:
Oh, my God. You have no idea, friends of the podcast, how long we laughed and laughed about that. Oh, my God.

Lisa [01:06:15]:
It was good. It was good. It was priceless. That's why, Samantha, it's things like that. They're going to make people who are lucky enough to live in the Collingwood, Ontario region want to come to our live show August 8th. Right? Collingwood, Toronto. You're all close. You're all close to it.

Lisa [01:06:30]:
And you know what? I've been looking. We got a lot of people listening to this podcast in Oshawa.

Samantha [01:06:34]:
Woo.

Lisa [01:06:35]:
Yeah. So guess what? You're not that far, Oshawa. You're not that far. Tickets, we're going to be put. I know I'm jumping ahead, but they're going to be on sale, like, probably like within three weeks. By May. By the beginning of May. That's our goal, right? Beginning of May, the Bare Bones Tour.

Lisa [01:06:51]:
This sort of stuff come into place.

Samantha [01:06:53]:
And it's not a tour because it's only a show.

Lisa [01:06:54]:
It's only one show. It'll always be called the Bare Bones Tour. Everyone we ever do. Right? Because it will always be Bare bones. Yeah.

Samantha [01:07:01]:
It will always be that.

Lisa [01:07:02]:
First off, that's all we know is bare bones. Because we don't know a lot of stuff. And that's all. That's all we can afford is bare bones.

Samantha [01:07:09]:
That's true.

Lisa [01:07:10]:
But we give you our humor for free.

Samantha [01:07:15]:
Well, not ticket.

Lisa [01:07:16]:
You gotta buy a ticket.

Samantha [01:07:17]:
You gotta buy a ticket, so.

Lisa [01:07:18]:
But it's not that expensive of a ticket. It's all good. It's all good. Yes.

Samantha [01:07:22]:
Okay. But we got to mention some honorable mentions for our Facebook post that we put up on Sunday. Kelly, I understand you. You.

Lisa [01:07:32]:
Oh, my goodness.

Samantha [01:07:34]:
Tendencies. I understand that. I. I feel you. I see you. I get you.

Lisa [01:07:38]:
How have I been friends with her my whole life and did not know? I must have blocked this out.

Samantha [01:07:42]:
You must have.

Lisa [01:07:44]:
Or I must have just, like, not paid that much attention to it or something.

Samantha [01:07:47]:
But apparently her daughter Gracie can guess the amount of a grocery haul within dollars.

Lisa [01:07:53]:
That's pretty impressive.

Samantha [01:07:54]:
That's very. That's a skill.

Lisa [01:07:56]:
She needs to go on a show.

Samantha [01:07:57]:
She does.

Lisa [01:07:58]:
She's on a show or something.

Samantha [01:08:00]:
Hey, I need to go on to, like, a show where you make some cash.

Lisa [01:08:03]:
Yeah. Right.

Samantha [01:08:04]:
Tara, I feel for you. You have a fear of squirrels. I'm sorry.

Lisa [01:08:08]:
And then I was curious, like, what about chipmunks? Same type of thing. Or is it different?

Samantha [01:08:13]:
I feel like it's a furry animal. It's a furry animal.

Lisa [01:08:16]:
Yeah, Totally.

Samantha [01:08:17]:
And Megan can write with her left and right hand and sing and rap.

Lisa [01:08:23]:
Wow.

Samantha [01:08:23]:
That's amazing.

Lisa [01:08:25]:
Who knew?

Samantha [01:08:26]:
That's, like, ambidextrous. That's pretty cool.

Lisa [01:08:28]:
Totally. That's talent right there, Samantha.

Samantha [01:08:31]:
And then Luke, he let us in. He told us something a little bizarre. He needs to eat things.

Lisa [01:08:38]:
I love Luke.

Samantha [01:08:39]:
Yeah. He needs to eat things in even quantities.

Lisa [01:08:42]:
That's. That's kind of funny. Hey.

Samantha [01:08:44]:
Okay.

Lisa [01:08:45]:
I love that. I love Luke. Right? The tomato is. Is the devil's anus, Luke. Right? That's so.

Samantha [01:08:56]:
Yes.

Lisa [01:08:57]:
Right. Thank you.

Samantha [01:08:58]:
For those who played that day. There wasn't a lot of you. I'm just going to shame the rest of you that listen and follow us on Facebook. I'm going to shame the rest of you. These people poured their hearts out, told us, left it out there, personal things, and no one else decided to join. You know what? You suck.

Lisa [01:09:14]:
Yeah. Come on. Join these things. This is where we have fun, right? Facebook Tuesday. We got a good. We got.

Samantha [01:09:19]:
We.

Lisa [01:09:20]:
We got a good number today. Famous Food duos, Right? Yes. We've done it before, but we switched it up. You didn't find. You didn't see the peanut butter and jam this time on there. I didn't put it there. Right. I changed it up.

Lisa [01:09:33]:
We added a few new things, however. People threw fish and chips back in the ocean?

Samantha [01:09:40]:
Yes, pretty much.

Lisa [01:09:42]:
Randy was having PTSD from childhood. He ate too many fish sticks as a kid. I think that's every parent. Every Gen X kid ate too many fish sticks as a kid. Right?

Samantha [01:09:53]:
Totally.

Lisa [01:09:54]:
People hated bacon and eggs. When did this become a thing?

Samantha [01:09:57]:
Oh, I. I am astonished at how.

Lisa [01:10:00]:
Many people hate bacon and then the eggs.

Samantha [01:10:04]:
How are you our friends?

Lisa [01:10:06]:
Right.

Samantha [01:10:06]:
Lisa and I are like bacon. Like, we. We eat the bacon.

Lisa [01:10:11]:
Bacon, bacon, bacon, bacon, bacon, bacon. Right. And then there's a few people that I thought, oh, you're breaking Samantha's heart. They didn't like chips and dip.

Samantha [01:10:21]:
I know. And I'm like, ow, ow. Oh, it's pain in my heart.

Lisa [01:10:26]:
Right.

Samantha [01:10:26]:
Paid in my heart.

Lisa [01:10:27]:
Right. Dwayne doesn't like chips.

Samantha [01:10:29]:
I know.

Lisa [01:10:30]:
What's that about? I did not know. I went to school with Dwayne. Did not know he didn't like chips. We come from the area of Miss Vicky's. I thought everybody liked chips. Right. What I was surprised at the most is that nobody kicked cheese and crackers to the curb.

Samantha [01:10:45]:
That was everyone. Everybody likes cheese and crackers.

Lisa [01:10:48]:
Yeah, but. But better than bacon and eggs.

Samantha [01:10:51]:
Yeah, but you know what? That said cheese and crackers is basically what you ate when you came home from school.

Lisa [01:10:56]:
I don't know. Right.

Samantha [01:10:57]:
That's crackers.

Lisa [01:10:58]:
I put that on there thinking it was gonna get kicked, and it didn't.

Samantha [01:11:02]:
I love it when things don't go your way.

Lisa [01:11:03]:
I know. Totally. Right? But I'll tell you, you're never gonna find Blue Freezies pop up again, ever, Ever.

Samantha [01:11:11]:
People had a hate on that day.

Lisa [01:11:13]:
Right. I can't cope with that. I don't need that in my life. Right. This is meant to bring joy and. And, And. And. And one manship.

Lisa [01:11:20]:
Right. We're involving all. It's not meant to be hate. People had a hatred towards the Blue Freezy.

Samantha [01:11:26]:
They did. It was not pretty. No, it wasn't.

Lisa [01:11:27]:
But friend, the podcast, if you have any solution, any suggestions for. For Facebook Tuesday, feel free to send them to us.

Samantha [01:11:36]:
Yes, please do.

Lisa [01:11:37]:
We've been playing this game for three years now. Yeah.

Samantha [01:11:41]:
We're not sure how much longer we can play it. We're being honest, but every week we bring it back. All right, so here I go again, letting you know where you can find us. So Guys, connect with us on our social media. Visit ishakemyheadpod.com Sign up for our newsletters, leave a message or check out our episodes. It's all there for you. One stop. Shop legit.

Samantha [01:12:08]:
Watch the podcast on YouTube and subscribe. We have gotten some new subscribers of late.

Lisa [01:12:13]:
Three new subscribers.

Samantha [01:12:15]:
Woohoo. We're at 123.

Lisa [01:12:18]:
Where are we going? Higher.

Samantha [01:12:19]:
Woohoo. Higher. You can join our Patreon for exclusive content, early access and behind the scenes footage, all for as little as $2 a month. Visit patreon.com I shake my head. If you're looking for. I shake my head. Swag. Head on down to threadless.com and search for us.

Samantha [01:12:37]:
We're proud to be part of the Women in Media network and we want to thank John for putting together our podcast each week.

Lisa [01:12:44]:
Thank you, John. Okay, here. This is what every. This is. I feel like I'm. I'm Kelly Ripa on her show right now. And here's what you've all been waiting for. The fantasy baseball update.

Lisa [01:12:55]:
So as of week two, friends of the podcast, I'm at ESPN Fantasy Baseball. I'm playing it. I'm doing it because I just went to one team. I am tied for first. I am 2. 0. I won last two. And.

Lisa [01:13:07]:
Oh, and that's hard, right, because each week you're playing like seven games. So. And then, and then whoever has the most points at the end of the week, you get to win. Right. And I will say, because we're full into Blue Jay season number one fake fan. Listen, lend me your ears. They've signed Vladi Guerrero, Blue Jay star player, for half a billion dollars. Half a billion dollars for 14 years.

Lisa [01:13:33]:
You know, I would do pretty much anything for half a billion dollars for the next 14 years. It's amazing what you could make me do.

Samantha [01:13:42]:
How does he get a half a billion dollars?

Lisa [01:13:47]:
Well, he needs to pull up his socks to.

Samantha [01:13:49]:
He needs to re. They need to get.

Lisa [01:13:52]:
They need. Right.

Samantha [01:13:54]:
They need to get to.

Lisa [01:13:55]:
They are in first. They are in first place right now. But.

Samantha [01:13:59]:
So that's what's going to take.

Lisa [01:14:00]:
No, no, because he's not, he's not really playing that great yet. He's, he's a slow starter and they.

Samantha [01:14:06]:
Still paid him half a billion dollars.

Lisa [01:14:08]:
Half a billion dollars?

Samantha [01:14:09]:
Billion. Not million billion.

Lisa [01:14:11]:
$500 million to do that over 14 years. Yeah, yeah, yep. What would you do for half? I would do sports. I would do anything for half a billion dollars for 14 years. Oh, God, yeah. Wouldn't matter how where does that money come from? Because they're owned by Rogers, right? They people. He's only the third largest salary. So they paid a guy.

Samantha [01:14:39]:
They pay someone who isn't playing that.

Lisa [01:14:41]:
Well, but he's the face. He's the face of the team. Right? And hopefully he'll draw bigger players to the team. They just. They paid Juan Soto, who is a New York met, $765 million this year for. For 10 years or 12 years. Right. We're in the wrong.

Samantha [01:15:02]:
Play sports.

Lisa [01:15:03]:
To play sports. To play sports. Yeah.

Samantha [01:15:05]:
Because it generates so much revenue.

Lisa [01:15:07]:
So much revenue. Isn't that crazy? Ah, there's your Blue Jays update.

Samantha [01:15:13]:
Oh, my God.

Lisa [01:15:14]:
All right, Samantha, what else do you want to talk about? Else? You want to talk about other stuff?

Samantha [01:15:18]:
No, I got.

Lisa [01:15:19]:
You're done. You had enough. I'm gonna go have some Cheerios before bed. The good ones. The ones out of the heart. Yes. They're good for your heart.

Samantha [01:15:28]:
The good ones.

Lisa [01:15:29]:
The good ones. All right, friends of the podcast, have yourselves a great week. And, Samantha, always a pleasure.

Samantha [01:15:37]:
It should be.

Lisa [01:15:48]:
Who's a pretty girl? I'm a pretty girl.